This Week on VH1

You might think that I watch a lot of TV. VH1 specifically. Not true - I just run a treadmill at the gym for 20+ minutes. That's pretty much all it takes to keep up with America's favorite cable adult contemporary music video channel.

Only two things worth pointing out this week, really:

Maroon 5 - "Won't Go Home Without You"

Lame song.

Bad haircut, Adam (still!).

But nice pants. O so very nice pants.

Sara Bareilles - "Love Song"

I have to say I think I'm in love with Sara Bareilles. Have you seen this video? She's just so damn cute.

She's the ultimate girl next door. When I see this video, I envision her living in the apartment across the hall. She'd be the neighbor that plays piano and bakes in her spare time. Too busy for a boyfriend. We'd become friendly and she'd occasionally bring over cupcakes or have me sample a new casserole recipe she's working on.

One night she'd come over and we'd watch something on Bravo or HGTV and have a bottle of wine and then she'd say something funny and suddenly I'd lean over and kiss her and she'd jump up from the couch saying "But I thought you were supposed to be gay!" and I'd fumble and say "But I think I'm in love with you!" and "But you're on my List*!" and she'd leave in a hurry and then it would be awkward for a few days and we'd avoid each other in the building and then she'd make it big and move to LA, and then a few years would go by and she'd be in town and invite me to her show and then backstage afterwards we'd joke about that one night I kissed her and we'd laugh and then all would be cool because, you know, she'd be like that.

* The "List" is of the women many Gays Would go Straight For (in my case): Jessica Alba, Jennifer Aniston, Cate Blanchett, Rachel Weisz, sometimes Natalie Portman and now Sara Bareilles.

This Week on VH1

Recently, several friends have mentioned how great those little monitors attached to their gym treadmills are because its the only way they get to watch bad cable TV shows.

I heartily agree. Just this morning I turned in and got a rundown on all the exciting things happening this week on VH1. So be sure to tune in.

Rock of Love II
One of my favorite shows from last year is back, although somehow this time around I can't muster the energy to watch it. The winner of last season, Jess, ditched Michaels for some guy here in Chicago. This is a shock to me because it really seemed like their love was real and going to last.

Anyway, it looks like Bret got a new headband this year (see attached photo), so you know, maybe it will be worth watching.


James Blunt is a Douche
So this morning the Top 20 Countdown is on and along comes the video for James Blunt's "Same Mistake." Have you seen this video? Its James Blunt walking around with the stupid video camera attached to chest or something filming his face as he whines and goes about his daily life.

Like we're all supposed to be so fucking interested in James Blunt that we'd choose to look at nothing but his ugly face for 4 minutes. Who makes videos like this? Answer: People who reeaaalllyyyy like themselves. I was forced to change the channel.

Scott Baio is Also a Douche
Chachi is back for a second season of "Scott Baio is 45 and..." to prove to the world yet again what an asshole he is (you know, in case you didn't figure that out from watching the first season).

Chachi has to be the only douche nugget alive to willingly star in a reality show that does nothing but reveal what a dipshit you are. This time around it looks like he's not only getting married (the horror!) but also, (gasp!) going to be a father! OMG, how can he possibly survive such a horrible fate?