People Are Stupid 2008 (Pt. III)

At Starbucks this morning, I order my drink (btw, it is amazing how quickly a $50 gift card runs out) and then while I'm waiting I take my RedEye and go put it at a table. After putting down the newspaper, I go up to the counter to get my drink.


In the meantime, a see a guy walk in and put his stuff down at the same small table that I've put my newspaper, then go stand in line to order his coffee. I'm a bit annoyed but not really, since it isn't as though I'd expect him to know that was my newspaper.

Once my coffee comes up, I take it, go back to the table where I'd put the Red Eye, take the newspaper and move to the next table over.

A few minutes later the other guy sits down at the table, and noticing that the Red Eye is gone, frowns, looks over to me and the following moronic conversation ensues:
Guy: "Is that the newspaper that was right here?
Me: "Yes, it is."
Guy: "Hmmpf. I was reading that."
Me (thinking:) OK, so you're a liar and an idiot. "No. No, actually you weren't. I was reading it. You see, I set it down at the table before you came in, and while I was waiting for my coffee you came in and took my seat."
Guy: "Oh... Sorry."
Me: "Not a problem."

Douchie McDouchebag

I Love My Local Starbucks

I'm sitting at my local Starbucks studying, and my table is (unfortunately) right next to the bathrooms. Not really studying, however, as I'm just not into it. I'm pretty much doing everything but studying - reading blogs, texting Niner about poon, talking to my parents (yeah, I'm that distracted), figuring out a shopping list for Target. I've been here about an hour and have only read about 2 pages. Can someone tell me what the hell "Because homologous chromosomes may possess different alleles for the same traits, and there are many genes on one chromosome, the homologues are usually not identical" means?

And if so, will you take my final exam for me?

Anyway, awhile ago a young woman went into the bathroom. About 10 minutes after that, her boyfriend knocked on the bathroom door and asked what she was doing. In a really loud voice she responded:"I'M TAKING A SHIT, OKAY??" Classy. So very.

15 minutes later she's still not coming out of the bathroom and suddenly there's two cops banging on the door demanding she come out. I ask you: I bet this shit doesn't happen at your local Starbucks, does it?

Now the two cops are questioning both the girl and her boyfriend outside the store. Apparently, there may be some drug usage involved (ya think?).