Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Open Letter to My Statistics Professor

Dear Professor:

You and your Statistics class can go Suck It. 


I'm not kidding: Suck. It. Hard.

Your final class and exam this Friday night cannot come fast enough for me. You know what the two best days of this semester have been/will be? 
1) The day I got my acceptance letter to Georgetown; and 
2) This Friday night, after I hand in your Stats Final and walk out of your fucking classroom forever and never have to think about Statistics and your shitty class ever again. Seriously. 

What's that you say? That I will have to use Statistics in my future career? Actually, no. No I won't. So you can go back to Sucking It again. You saying that I might need to calculate a binomial probability at some point in my future career is as ridiculous as those college counselors who say that "college is the real world." Total fucking joke.

You want to see a regression line? Here - here's my equation for a regression line. I'll regress my line all over your sorry ass if you'd like.  

PS - Oh, and my P value for a Z-test? Right here buddy.

Have a good summer. Smooches.


Mr. Shain said...

is there anyone who you HAVEN'T told (asked/payed) to "suck it hard"???

the best part of hating statistics is when you finally take a bayesian statistics class and learn that the classical statistics you've been studying all your academic life is as flawed as newtonian physics.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I thought P-value had to do with how much you can sell your penis for on ebay?

word verification: "quenect." That's like baby talk. "Daddy is twying to quenect to the internets." Awwwwwwwww.

Anonymous said...
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MidwestSmartass said...

Hmmm....well, honey. I don't think Sophia would approve of this. May she rest in piece (yes, I know...wrong homonym)

Anonymous said...

I can totally tell that you're missing your Stats professor already.