Monday, August 24, 2009

Goodbye Chicago, Goodbye [Cherry] Ride

It's Monday night and I'm tired and heading to bed. It has been a long, emotional day of packing, moving stuff and saying goodbyes.

Tomorrow morning I'll be up at the Crack, leaving Chicago and heading east to DC. In many ways, this move has been a long time in the making, and yet even 6 months ago I wouldn't have believed it. The next 16 months of school will be an adventure. It will be intense, scary, (hopefully) amazing and a little fun. Over the last few weeks I've been alternately excited, nervous, sad, giddy, and petrified about moving back to DC and going back to school.

I'm really going to miss Chicago. The last 100 days have been so truly great; it has been the best summer of my life. When I moved back to Chicago 3.5 years ago, I don't think I would have imagined that I'd miss it as much as I already do. I'll miss the summers; the swimming at Ohio St. Beach; the different neighborhoods and festivals; the pizza; the salty and chocolatey smell of the Chicago River in Spring; the dirty hipster boys & girls; the late-night bicycle rides through River West, Logan Square and Roscoe Village.

As I say goodbye to this city and this chapter of my life, I'm also saying goodbye to this blog. I started the [C]R around the same time I moved back to Chicago, and I think it is fitting that I end it now too. For the most part, this blog has been a great source of enjoyment for me. 

The past 3.5 years have been kinda strange, and it has been great documenting it through this blog, and of course I've met some great people because of it. But since I haven't been blogging much in the last year, I feel like it is time to do something new.

Thanks to everyone who has stopped by and said hello.

I'm not giving up on blogging, I'm just doing it at a different location -- new life chapter, new blog. For those who are interested, send me an e-mail ( and I'll send you the link.

Take care, Chicago. And take care, folks.


Friday, August 21, 2009

They're Not Lying - It Really Is Better in the Bahamas

Instead of spending my last possible weekend in Chicago hanging out on the beach, grabbing some good grub, and enjoying a few libations, I travelled to the Bahamas with my family where I instead... hung out on the beach, grabbed some good grub, and enjoyed a few libations. Life this summer has been tough.

The Miss Universe Pageant was happening and hosted at our hotel. Which might sound cool, but it wasn't. For example, when we wanted to ride The Current, we had to wait for those bitches to finish up some lame contest/PR stunt on the ride site before we could get on. I was this close to calling management.*  

However, at one point in the weekend I saw Miss New Zealand walking through the hall (along with some other contestants) and yelled out, "Kiwis Rule!" That declaration seemed to startle and confuse her, not unlike that whole panda sneezing You Tube vidja.

Other highlights from the weekend included:
  • Sharing the flight from Chicago to Miami with Erik Estrada. Would have loved to approach him and ask if he had a license for that taco.**
  • Sitting a table over from Debbie - sorry, Deborah - Gibson at dinner.
  • Seeing Dick Vitale at the resort's Ben & Jerry's (hun?). Would have loved to approach him and say, "That Chunky Monkey's awesome, baby!"***
  • Skinny dipping - not once, but twice - in the ocean at midnight. 
  • I also learned that I might possibly be allergic to shellfish/seafood. So I've got that going for me. 
Also, I realize that doing a swim workout while buzzed can be fun and make the time go by really fast. But that's a whole 'nuther post....

* Not really, no. I was too drunk.
** Please tell me somebody gets this reference.
*** Not really, no. I was too drunk.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Welcome Back to Portland...

... where Dinner consists of 3 PBRs and one of these:

That's right, it's the "O Captain My Captain" Captain Crunch donut from Voodoo.

And lunch today was Fire on The Mountain.  

It's good to be back!

Monday, July 27, 2009

I Owe The City of Chicago Approx. $1,680 in Parking Tickets

This might come as a shock, but I can sometimes live in a state of denial. 

Here's a current example: Every July 1, the city issues a new parking permit sticker and a resident has a 2-week window - until July 15th - to purchase the new permit and stick it to his/her car windshield before the cops start passing out tickets. 

Then there's me, who thinks that because I'm leaving Chicago in mid-August I won't bother buying the new permit. I mean, why pay the $75 for an annual sticker that I'll only need for 4 weeks? 

So like clockwork, July 15th rolls around and I go out to my car and lo & behold there's a ticket - a $120 ticket - on my windshield. I curse, put the ticket in my glove compartment and go about my day. The next day, I go out to my car and lo & behold there's a $120 ticket on my windshield. You see where this is going.

Damn, I think. Maybe my strategy for flying under the radar and quietly slipping out of the city with neither a '09-'10 sticker nor tickets should be re-thought.

"Well duh," a friend of mine told me that day. "How do you think the city makes its money? Off the fines from idiots like you who are too lazy to get their stickers on time." 

But before I had the chance to buy a new sticker - you know, because these days I am so busy - I racked up a crapload of these bitches. Last Tuesday, in fact - I got three - three! - because I'd been driving around and parking in different parts of the city. That's $360 worth of ticket fines on one day alone. 

At the City Clerk Office I told the woman I was moving in a month and because of this, was there some kind of temporary or prorated sticker I could buy instead? "Nuh-uh" she said. "We don't do that here."

Law-abiding citizens would pay their tickets. 

I may not be one of those people. 

Instead, I'm thinking of making cute little origami swans out of them, then passing them out as party favors at my going away party next month.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Is This Thing On?

With Operation G.O.N.A.D.S. in full swing, last night I attended my friend Katy's Movieoke Night at the Whistler with my friend Jason.

Katy has been running Movieoke there for several months, as a fundraiser for her Vintage Theater Collective, and it is a kick in the pants. For those of you living in Chicago, you should check it out next time (Here's the Facebook page for it.)

In the past I've done scenes from Airplane ("I like my coffee black, like my men"), Good Will Hunting ("How ya like them apples?"), and the sweet American Psycho "Huey Lewis" monologue.

To say I brought the house down with any of my renditions would be, well, a slight exaggeration.

Anyway, last night I did the answering machine scene from Swingers (see it here). Before it started, I told the crowd I was dedicating my scene to my friend Jason, "who will always be the Vince Vaughn to my Jon Favreau." 

Dead silence. 

"Really? That's all I get?"

Dead silence.

[Me tapping the microphone.] Umm, is this thing on?

Screw you, self-important Whistler hipsters.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

So I Am Officially Old Today...

... big deal.

I'm going out to eat a cheeseburger.

And dance around my apartment in my panda costume, singing along to the Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

PROPER, bitches!

Monday, June 08, 2009


OK, so the rumours of my return might have been slightly exaggerated.

But I'm back, and here to tell you why I have not been blogging much these last few weeks.

I have not been blogging because of GONADS.

GONADS is an acronym for "Go Out Nightly And Do Shit." Which I have been following quite regularly these past two weeks.

As this is my last summer in Chicago, I made a pledge to myself to take advantage of everything the city has to offer by, well, going out every night and doing stuff. Instead of having a quiet Wednesday evening at home, for example, I am pushing myself to instead be out and about. Visiting friends. Going for a beer. Or a stroll. Or a ballgame. You get the picture. The goal is for when I leave for DC at the end of August, I can say that I had the best Chicago summer of my life. Thanks to GONADS.

I'm thinking of making t-shirts. Who is with me?

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Open Letter to My Statistics Professor

Dear Professor:

You and your Statistics class can go Suck It. 


I'm not kidding: Suck. It. Hard.

Your final class and exam this Friday night cannot come fast enough for me. You know what the two best days of this semester have been/will be? 
1) The day I got my acceptance letter to Georgetown; and 
2) This Friday night, after I hand in your Stats Final and walk out of your fucking classroom forever and never have to think about Statistics and your shitty class ever again. Seriously. 

What's that you say? That I will have to use Statistics in my future career? Actually, no. No I won't. So you can go back to Sucking It again. You saying that I might need to calculate a binomial probability at some point in my future career is as ridiculous as those college counselors who say that "college is the real world." Total fucking joke.

You want to see a regression line? Here - here's my equation for a regression line. I'll regress my line all over your sorry ass if you'd like.  

PS - Oh, and my P value for a Z-test? Right here buddy.

Have a good summer. Smooches.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The [Cherry] Ride FAQ

Yeah, I'm back. Some of you have questions. Let me attempt to answer them....

So, why are you back?
- Hell if I know. It is going to be an interesting couple months/year ahead of me, and I want to keep a record of it, I suppose.

What did you do while you were on hiatus?
- Went to the Obama election rally in Grant Park.
- Did really well in school last semester, despite the concept maps.
- Stopped working full-time so I could go to school full-time instead*. In fact, pretty much stopped working altogether.
- Cursed the Chicago winter - daily from about Nov. 1 through last week.
- Bought the new Kelly Clarkson album. Don't judge, bitches.
- Went to a friend's wedding in Boston with some old friends, including ReckenRoll. And let me tell you that woman knows her way around a sushi menu.
- Got accepted to my #1 and #3 nursing school choices (screw you, OHSU!) and am procrastinating on making a final decision.

I used to see/hear/get texts/get comments on my blog from you, but you pretty much stopped going out/calling/texting/reading my blog over the last six months. Dude, what the hell happened to you?
- I have no good answer for this. I just sorta checked out, I guess. On the plus side though, I really got my money's worth on my Netflix subscription.

Anything new and exciting to report?
- Every Monday and Wednesday, I eat a lunch consisting of: corn nuts, two chocolate donuts, and a Coke Cherry Zero big gulp.
- On a daily basis need to fight the urge to Stab somebody. Just for the hell of it.

What's troubling you these days?
- Why it is so impossible to find a pair of flat-front, low-rise slim fit khakis? I mean, WTF people?
- Glenn Beck

What's in store for the summer?
- I'll be staying here in Chicago through mid-August and I've developed some pretty "ambitious" plans, which include:
- An Abnormal Psych class M-Th mornings.
- Buying a wetsuit for daily 2-mile swims at Ohio Street beach after class.
- A Rowing class with the Lincoln Park Rowing Club a few nights a week in June.
- Maybe a Fencing class in July.
- Pre-reading on Pathophysiology while laying in the sand at North Ave. and Hollywood beaches.
- A book a week, every week (not counting the above mentioned Abnormal Psych and Pathophysiology).
- Summer shandys, shorts and flip-flops. Every day.
What do you think of this whole Swine Flu thing?
- People just need to calm down and wash their hands. That, and maybe start amassing bottled water and firearms for the coming armageddon.    

* Some may say this decision was mine to make; others may say the decision was pretty much made for me. Details, really.

Monday, April 27, 2009

No, I Will Not Follow You on Twitter (Or: Why My Blogroll Has Shrunk)

Sometimes when I read my last post before my hiatus, I get a laugh at the parts where I wrote "I'll probably be gone for a month or two..." and "... But I won't be completely gone - I'll just live vicariously through those on my blogroll."

Hah. Turns out, I lied about both. 

Up until last week, I hadn't looked at another blog since the day I stopped writing mine. So earlier today when I decided to start catching up on my favorites, I was surprised to see that some of them no longer existed, or are also on hiatus. Or worse, they're no longer "blogs" and instead are "Tumblrs" or "Twitters" or "microblogs" or some shit like that. Dude, I can barely feign interest in your regular-size blog; what makes you think I want to follow your cutesy little one? 

See, you have to understand: The last time I was blogging I was still heavily involved in the hi-tech industry. Now I'm not. The part of me that used to care about fancy high-falutin' crap like that has been replaced with - indifference. In fact, I'm actually regressing in my technology lifestyle - for example, I traded in my iPhone for a shitty $9 Go Phone (not kidding). So your request to follow you on Twitter? Not going to happen. But good luck with that. 

My blogroll has been adjusted accordingly.  You're welcome.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Don't Call It A Comeback...

So I have been planning a return. Maybe next week. 

There's a lot* to catch up on, but today is a big day. Last week I was accepted to Georgetown's accelerated Nursing BSN program, and today I find out if I get the scholarship I've applied for. With it, G-town is affordable and worth attending; without, hella expensive and I'll probably go elsewhere.

So I'm talking to my dad a few minutes ago and he asks me how my day is going so far and I tell him it is fine, but I'm nervous about this scholarship news (which should arrive in my email inbox any second now) and his response: "Well, you should be."

Thanks, Dad.

* Not really, no.