Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Things That Scare Me Today

Happy Halloween, y'all.

Unlike last year's big to-do, this year I'm maintaining a low profile (see above illustration). But I would be remiss if I didn't do something to celebrate one of my favorite holidays, so I bring you the 6 Things That Scare Me:

  1. People I don’t even know trying to become my friend on Facebook.
  2. People still wearing those “Live Strong” bracelets.
  3. Killers who lure victims to their home via fake Craigslist ads. Guess I’ll be buying a TV via the old fashioned way, then.
  4. Celine Dion appearing on my Pandora Radio. (If you’re not familiar with Pandora, it is an online radio station where you tell it what bands and songs you like, and it populates your playlist with songs based on your recommendations and a complex algorithm.)
  5. Senator Larry Craig, specifically that he is still a Senator.
  6. Backfat (specifically mine).

Thursday, October 25, 2007

[Cherry] Ride Just Isn't That Into You

I took a few days off, but I'm back. (Thanks for noticing, jerks.)
My reasons for the break quite possibly may include one or more of the below factors:

  1. Forgot my log-in password
  2. Jesus told me to
  3. Sharting emergency
  4. Put in a corner (like Baby)
  5. Thrilling and electrifying collar poppin'
  6. Prolonged and exhilerating trannie vacation
  7. Still recovering from tragic and embarrassing (yet completely unsurprising) Cubs loss during playoffs
  8. Paul Poon
  9. Debilitating shame over my love for Martina McBride
  10. Dick Cheney
  11. Protesting Oracle’s bid for BEA Systemstake that Larry Ellison!
  12. Grueling Harpsichord lesson and competition schedule
  13. Arrest and subsequent incarceration for something my lawyer has advised me not to speak of until the lawsuit is settled
  14. Nightly, athletic and exhausting visits from a Succubus
  15. Hellen Mirren's boobs
  16. Extreme headband wearing
  17. Gender re-assignment surgery
  18. Gender re-assignment surgery gone awry
  19. Incapacitating hangovers
  20. Just couldn’t be bothered

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

The Underrated List

Last week I edumicated you on all things Overrated, and now it is time to share my list of people, places and things in 2007 that deserve a shout-out/what-what/say heeeeey!

The [Cherry] Ride Underrated List (in alphabetical order):
  1. Arnold Palmers (with or without alcohol)
  2. Bicycles
  3. Capes
  4. Cate Blanchett
  5. Cellular respiration (close second: Synaptic transmission)
  6. Chicago (close second: Boston)
  7. Geico commercials (but not so much the Caveman ones)
  8. Interpretive dance
  9. John Adams
  10. Lazy rivers
  11. Long Island iced teas (close second: Gin rickeys)
  12. Monday nights (close second: Friday mornings)
  13. New Zealand
  14. Newsweek
  15. Skype
  16. Sport coats
  17. Sunrise
  18. Squirrels
  19. Trannies
  20. VH-1 reality shows