Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Armageddon Day Is Approaching


No sooner have I posted about a return to happier days, then the arrival of news from Google confirming the long-brewing rumors that it is developing the Google Phone.
People are creaming like this is the best news ever. [Well, at least since the Ace of Base reunion news.] This is not good news, people.

Remember in the movie Terminator when they talk about "Judgement Day" and the guy who designs a learning computer that goes online on August 4, 1997, and how this computer begins learning at a geometric rate, and becomes self-aware at 2:14 am on August 29, 1997 and launches nuclear missiles that destroy most of humanity?

Yeah, well take the above paragraph and substitute the word "computer" with Google, and substitute the "August 29, 1997" day with "whatever day the Google phone debuts" and well, there you have it. You may be laughing now, but nobody believes me when I say Google is the Devil and in a decade we'll all have little Google bar codes in our scull so they can (even better than they do already today) keep track of us all.

Better get your Scandanavian pop singer fix in now boys and girls while you still can.

13 comments:

minijonb said...

maybe Google and all those tech companies have already installed chips in our heads and we just don't know it yet. chew on that piece of paranoia for a bit.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You mean I'm going to get to meet a real, live Terminator?

ReckenRoll said...

I'd comment but I'm afraid they're monitoring my communications and I've already said too much.

Tyler said...

Google already controls your blogging. SUBMIT ALREADY.

classyandfancy said...

Will it bring back Eddie Furlong's career? I'll reserve my creaming for then.

5 of 9er said...

This is going to cause lots of problems. People already use the term "google it" when they refer to search for something on Al Gore's internet... now they might mean calling someone. It's going to cause mass amount of chaos!!!

The [Cherry] Ride said...

MiniJB:: I think you might be right. I believe mine was installed by Pets.com.

Dr. Ken:: You are not supposed to be excited about this.

Reckenroll:: As you say, too late.

Tyler:: Nobody is in control of my blogging. Except me. Right? Right??

Classy:: Ha! Thanks for using "cream" -- everyone should use it more -- but definitely not when referring to Edward Furlong. Yuck.

Niner:: Totally! We are all pooned!

Mr. Shain said...

oh, i'm not laughing now. i'm definitely not laughing.

Ms. Laaw-yuhr said...

You now bring me all my news: while my roommates were talking at dinner about the lawyers protesting in Pakistan, I was telling them that Ace of Base has reunited! I can hardly wait tomorrow to tell them about the google phone.

Girl Friday said...

ok, I know I work for the company that Google would consider their biggest competitor in this space...but come on! Who wants ads with their gossip?

blythe said...

i really don't think it's possible that google could be more a part of my life. seriously. also, ace of base!?

Catherinette Singleton said...

I just got the tingles reading this post. Oh how I dream of a google-phone.

d said...

my friends and i joke all the time that google is taking over the world. and, while i should be terrified by this fact, i am secretly cheering them on. for i love them.

resistance is futile.