Thursday, December 13, 2007

Actual Comments Made By My Fellow Students in Human Biology Class

To commemorate my last class (and the final exam) tonight, I thought I would share with you a list of actual comments and/or questions made by my classmates during the course of the semester. Believe me when I say I have not altered them in any way. Starting with the second class, I actually began writing these little nuggets down because I couldn't believe the crap I was hearing, and, well, I need something to entertain me during the 2.5 hour class twice a week. Enjoy - I certainly have.

  1. (Pointing to a diagram of a human body): "We gotta learn all that for this class? Fuck that. I'm dropping this shit." (As a reminder, this class is called Human Biology, so not sure what this person thought we'd be doing.)
  2. "I was told by somebody that if I go on a starvation diet I could actually do damage to my body. Is this true?"
  3. "If you were to, like, create a Frankenstein monster, wouldn't the body reject the different body parts because they'd have different genes?"
  4. "If somebody were to get liposuction, would the fat cells grow back?"
  5. "Is that (type of cell) what causes bladder infections? 'Cuz I got a bladder infection and I don't know why."
  6. "Buttered popcorn causes cancer."
  7. "Is it true Janet Jackson had one of her ribs removed?"
  8. "Wearing large clothing helps prevent Lyme Disease."
  9. "If the menstral cycle is 28 days, then what happens during the other 2-3 days?"
  10. "What is the best way to refrigerate or freeze the placenta?"
  11. "Diarrhea is a diarrhetic."
  12. "So I don't need to douche, then?"
  13. "I think people who eat meat are disgusting."
  14. "Can a 17-pound baby be delivered vaginally?"
  15. (In a discussion about the anal cavity): "It's not natural to have something up there, like homosexuals do."

Now that class is over, I guess I will have to find something else to complain about. Until next semester begins, that is.


Kadonkadonk said...

OMG! #9 cracked me up!!!

But wait, are you saying Janet Jackson didn't have a rib removed?

Catherinette Singleton said...

Who are these people and where did they come from? I didn't realize you could fit that many people under a rock.

ADW said...

I have always wondered about #10 and now I have my answer. I put mine in the dishwasher.

Mr. Shain said...

for reals, your class makes me feel smart. and let me say i enjoyed this post for that reason! a reply:

1. it's important to set realistic expectations. good for him for taking the time to drop.

2. yes! (we know you asked this one cherry.)

3. yes! (without the PROPER medications.)

4. no, but the remaining fat cells expand to refill the original volume of fat.

5. it's because he put it in your butt first. remember, ACA - always close with anal.

6. it does! if you breathe in the powdered butter for 30 years.

7. of course not. it was 2, one on each side!

8. if by large you mean baggy then yes. some people wear large clothes that are still skin tight because of their manboobs and backfat.

9. ok, this is a gem.

10. ziplock freezer bag, get all the air out first.

11. this is true! (so is sharting.)

12. well it really depends on your next john.

13. i think people that eat vagina are disgusting. just kidding! it's not the people, it's the vagina.

14. only if the mother is a horse or other large farm animal.

15. please, if the gays were the only ones doing anal, half you girls in the class would have those bladder infections right now.

ReckenRoll said...

#9 is f*cking brilliant.

KateR - Seattle/London/wherever said...

number 14 is scaring me.

classyandfancy said...

Did you keep track of the answers from the professor?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

You said that last one, didn't you?

Michael5000 said...

These are nice. And #9 is just amazing. Hard to believe that someone could get so many things so wrong, all by accident.

(#3 isn't so bad, really; dude's at least applying course concepts creatively. I would have been happy to get an insight like that out of a student.)

KAZ said...

So - what does happen during the other 2-3 days? The pope needs to know.
Good luck with the exams.

d said...

i don't know anything about the menstrual cycle but what DOES happen? pregnancy.

the question about frankenstein's monster is just totally great.

and how did that baby get to be 17 pounds in utero? holy jesus.

minijonb said...

i want to know why someone would want to refrigerate or freeze the placenta. seriously.

Mr. Shain said...

in order to eat it--rather preserve what you can't eat for later servings. it's much too large to eat all at once. unless you share it with friends at a party. which happens. i might have been to one even.

Grad School Reject said...

I can't believe someone had to ask about Janet. Duh - everyone knows that is totally true.

Ellen Aim said...

I am truly stunned, those are great. I would go to class just to write those down.

Mood Indigo said...

My first year at Catholic High School I took "Christian Sexuality" taught by a priest. When someone asked if a man who'd had a sex change could have a baby, he responded, "I don't see why not." He was TEACHING the class.