Things to Do in Denver When You're Drunk

This past weekend Richard and I flew to visit our friend Krista in Denver and drank our body weight in alcohol.

Denver is a very active city, offering plenty of opportunities to enjoy the outdoors, bike, run, raft, etc. When we began planning the trip several weeks ago, words like “hike” and “camp” were being thrown around by our hostess (rather carelessly and cavalier, in my opinion), and to prepare for the weekend I thought it best to pack clothes that would protect me against rain, snow, wind and wild cougars.

But as the days leading up to the visit unfolded, talk of the great outdoors subsided and were replaced with conversations about “catching up” and “relaxing” and “not getting out of bed until afternoon” and other, more meaningful subjects more closely associated with weekend getaways.

Krista was hosting a party, and when we arrived (after literally waiting more than an hour at baggage claim – thanks Frontier Airlines!), Richard and I were handed some beer, and then some shots, and just a few minutes later when “Girlfriend” by Pebbles came through the stereo, the troubles of work and Chicago seemed far, far away.

After an unfortunate incident occurred early in the morning hours, we decided the best way to tackle the rest of the holiday weekend would not be through physical outdoorsy activities (camping, hiking, etc.) but through more alcohol.

Alcohol for brunch. Lunch. With a mid-afternoon snack. Dinner. As prolonged nightcap. Bloody Marys, Beer, Tequila, Krista's Kick-Ass Lemonades, Gin and Tonics, Rum and Cokes, Mojitos. And some shot called a Washington Apple.

Pass out, awake, repeat.

Of course, drink is not all we did: I bought a new camera (yes!), danced to Kelly Clarkson, went to Vail, used a mustard bottle as a microphone to rock out to Bon Jovi, tried to climb a giant iron cow statue, dropped a good $12 on snacks in a vending machine, and sang the “Everything’s better with Blue Bonnet on it” song, repeatedly. It should also be pointed out that Richard let the terrorists win -- just a little bit -- by buying the pink sugar cookies instead of the red/white and blue ones, but nevermind.