Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Tuesday List

Since everyone seems to be all about the list today/yesterday, and I fold to peer pressure like, well, [insert the name of that kid in high school who did everything that everyone else did], this is mine for today:

  1. Of the bat, let me state I pretty much have nothing to say today, but don't want Friday's post about [mammaries] to be at the top of my blog.
  2. (BTW, my idea about not blogging about them is not helping to keep the crazy pervs away - this weekend was like the worst ever for google searches. But whatever.)
  3. I could not be any less excited about 4th of July. Of all the Tier 2 holidays, July 4th is the lamest. While the rest of the city watches the fireworks from Grant Park, I'll be inside with the windows closed watching Bravo or hopefully a Charm School marathon or whatever.
  4. However, if there's a midnight showing of Transformers tonight, then Richard and I (and hopefully LP and Niner - although he doesn't know it yet) are going. You didn't realize I was a Transformers fan? Well, I'm not (I've honestly never even seen an episode), but it is something to do.
  5. Speaking of something to do, tomorrow I'm starting "The Master Cleanser" liquid fast. It should be 10 days of liquid hell, but hopefully I'll come out the other end a bit healthier, leaner, and with better bowels (and after last weekend's sharting incident, who wouldn't?). And now that I've mentioned it in this blog I pretty much have to do it or you'll know that I'm really a quitter. I'm looking forward to this cleansing the way I look forward to a trip to the dentist. Which is to say, not really at all, although the end result should be good. So over the next 10 days you can look forward to a few posts about how fucking miserable I am. Why should I suffer alone?
  6. Everyone else in the world starting today can enjoy the release of the new Crowded House album, "Time on Earth." Except in America, 'cuz we're retards. We don't get it until next Tuesday. As I've mentioned before, the idea of a brand new CH album gets me so excited that I'll likely need to take the day off from work on Tuesday, or wear Depends. Or maybe both.
  7. Am I the only person working today? Yeah, I thought so too.
  8. If by Saturday I'm still alive (thanks to the above mentioned Master Cleanser fast), I plan to do this.
  9. Excitement in our apartment building last night. A couple on the 12th floor had a fight and one of them started throwing out the other guy's shit from the 12th floor window all into the street. It was classic. Like, I thought that shit only happens in commercials. But there was clothing, electronic items and other personal effects being launched into the sky from above us (Richard and I watched it all from our 8th floor window) and onto the sidewalk and, unfortunately for some poor car owners, onto the hoods of cars and through windshields. And then not one but five cop cars showed up. The gays can be so dramatic.
  10. Every list should go to ten, even though I have nothing else to say.


One Lil Aussie said...

I personally liked watching the underwear being flung down onto the street, as the dude is yelling to me to call the police. Then just as I turned to walk back into the lobby came a shower of shoes. Those gays!!! :)
That Crowded House album is so good.

mysterygirl! said...

You're going to do the Master Cleanser? If you manage to do it, then maybe I will try-- I am famous for my complete lack of willpower. I bet I'd make it for 36 hours.

OMG, PLEASE make an old-school iPod dock. That's so awesome.

And I only wish that I'd seen such a cinematic fight recently.

Jenny! said...

I am "working" too...you're not alone! What a bunch of queers! I personally love the 4th...but that's b/c I never venture into the fucking city for gay ass fireworks!

minijonb said...

Mark me as "working" as well. I also hate 4th of July. I get all scroogey about it. Just stick me in a cave for the holiday. And good luck with the Master Cleanser trial. Need to hear all the gorey details to see if I could handle it... well, not all the gorey details... maybe just a few.

Mr. Shain said...

because i have no content of my own:

1. me either, but i AM fine with having my iphone at the top of my blog. i love my iphone, we cuddle.

2. btw is not deserving of a number.

3. lame. july 4th is rad.

4. really lame. worst movie ever. who is richard?

5. really, really super lame. i'm so fucking sick of everyone master cleansing and telling me about how great it feels not to eat and shit water. LIARS. it sucks donkey balls and you know it. 'tards. uhm, yeah good luck with that.

6. likely both. Crowded House is not lame though, so good job.

7. no, i am too; lame.

8. please document and post pictures, especially if a trip to the ER is involved.

9. awesome; next time we want to watch on youtube so get some video.

10. lame.

chuckdaddy2000 said...

I too am going to jump on the 4th is overrated bandwagon. Getting to the fireworks is such a total bitch (crowds, crowds, crowds) and even if the explosions are kind of cool, they're never quite worth it.

This year wife and I are doing a premmptive strike on the 4th. We're having a BBQ on the 3rd. HAH! That way the people who work can actually get drunk and then we're going to do absolutely nothing on the 4th. I think we're on to something.

5 of 9er said...

Transformers... yea.

captain corky said...

The trailer for Transformer looks pretty good.

My friend did the Master Cleanse diet and lost a lot of weight. It's crazy though... Good luck with it Hour Man!

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Aussie:: I am glad that you called the cops (forgot to mention that). I was afraid for sidewalk guy's life at one point when window guy dropped the air conditioner or TV or whatever and it nearly landed on top of him.

Mystery:: Everyone is going to know how the Cleanse is going since I like to bitch and complain. Keep your fingers crossed about the old school iPod radio.

Jenny: I would think Independence Day would be worse in the 'burbs!

MiniJB: Just send positive thoughts our (did I mention Richard is doing it too!) way...

Mr. Shain:: Thanks for the play-by-play. But I'm not lame and I somehow think you're just jealous of all my fabulousness.

CD2K: I would fully embrace a July 3rd party. Well done.

Niner:: We are ON for tonight! It can;t be as bad as "Dupree" right?

Captain Corky:: We will need all the help we can get.

NamesAreHardToPick said...

Did anyone hear what the fight was about? And no, I work today, just not tomorrow.

Mr. Shain said...

you and blythe really need to hang out.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Names:: Not exactly sure. And since nobody in our building talks to each other, we will probably never find out.

Shain:: Because of our penchant for making fun of you?

blythe said...

yeah, shain is totes jealous. let's do the master cleanse together to really piss him off.

p.s. shain, be sure to tell everyone how into your candlelit yoga you are.

Alannah said...

Once I got past the 5th day on the Master Cleanse I felt like the strongest, most awesome person alive. But those first five days, man....they totally suck.

Good luck! I actually loved the taste of the spicy lemonade.

Jenny! said...

Not if you don't leave your house. We invite everyone over to us...so I guess I should ask them how bad it sucks!

Ryan said...

When are you going to dedicate the page to your obligitory "lookhowfuckingcooltheiPhoneis" blog? I hate iTards.

Mr. Shain said...

iTards are people too. in fact they're awesome people, iPeople.

blythe, i should make some kind of joke about you trying to do the master cleanse but giving up after 2 hours, but i won't. because i'm that kinda guy (an upstanding gentleman). also, if you ever talk about my candle light yoga again in a blog i'll backhand you.

cherry, good luck with the not eating thing. take lots of pictures for the blog.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Have fun with the colon blow. Why don't you just shove a garden hose up your ass and turn it on?? You should be kinda used to that anyway...

ridiculous said...

i totally ganked your idea and made a posting listing 10 things.

i'm sorry.

it won't happen again.


K.I.D. said...

Holy shizz, master cleanse is so totally going to make you shart liquid! Nasty!

Betty Boob Hug said...

crowded House - yay! making a comeback at last. Aren't they heaven on a stick?

carolyn says said...

sometimes jeremy and i think about staging fights like that but we always lose the nerve and we tend to have ground floor housing which sort of kills the drama.

good luck with your cleanse, it doesn't sound like fun at all.

ReckenRoll said...

1. WTF is a Master Cleanse and why would you do that to yourself? This blog has been reduced to boobs and poop. I may have to boycott.

2. You take the 4th of July for granted. Think of us who have no fireworks.

3. I'm listening to Crowded House RIGHT NOW. Ok, not really, but I could if I wanted to.

4. This is a 4 item list.

rookie teacher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Airam said...

Hope you had a good 4th of July!