Tuesday List

Since everyone seems to be all about the list today/yesterday, and I fold to peer pressure like, well, [insert the name of that kid in high school who did everything that everyone else did], this is mine for today:

1. Of the bat, let me state I pretty much have nothing to say today, but don't want Friday's post about [mammaries] to be at the top of my blog.
   
2. (BTW, my idea about not blogging about them is not helping to keep the crazy pervs away - this weekend was like the worst ever for google searches. But whatever.)
3. I could not be any less excited about 4th of July. Of all the Tier 2 holidays, July 4th is the lamest. While the rest of the city watches the fireworks from Grant Park, I'll be inside with the windows closed watching Bravo or hopefully a Charm School marathon or whatever.
   
4. However, if there's a midnight showing of Transformers tonight, then Richard and I (and hopefully LP and Niner - although he doesn't know it yet) are going. You didn't realize I was a Transformers fan? Well, I'm not (I've honestly never even seen an episode), but it is something to do.
5. Speaking of something to do, tomorrow I'm starting "The Master Cleanser" liquid fast. It should be 10 days of liquid hell, but hopefully I'll come out the other end a bit healthier, leaner, and with better bowels (and after last weekend's sharting incident, who wouldn't?). And now that I've mentioned it in this blog I pretty much have to do it or you'll know that I'm really a quitter. I'm looking forward to this cleansing the way I look forward to a trip to the dentist. Which is to say, not really at all, although the end result should be good. So over the next 10 days you can look forward to a few posts about how fucking miserable I am. Why should I suffer alone?
   
6. Everyone else in the world starting today can enjoy the release of the new Crowded House album, "Time on Earth." Except in America, 'cuz we're retards. We don't get it until next Tuesday. As I've mentioned before, the idea of a brand new CH album gets me so excited that I'll likely need to take the day off from work on Tuesday, or wear Depends. Or maybe both.
   
7. Am I the only person working today? Yeah, I thought so too.
8. If by Saturday I'm still alive (thanks to the above mentioned Master Cleanser fast), I plan to do this.
9. Excitement in our apartment building last night. A couple on the 12th floor had a fight and one of them started throwing out the other guy's shit from the 12th floor window all into the street. It was classic. Like, I thought that shit only happens in commercials. But there was clothing, electronic items and other personal effects being launched into the sky from above us (Richard and I watched it all from our 8th floor window) and onto the sidewalk and, unfortunately for some poor car owners, onto the hoods of cars and through windshields. And then not one but five cop cars showed up. The gays can be so dramatic.
   
10. Every list should go to ten, even though I have nothing else to say.