Friday, June 29, 2007

This is My Last Post Mentioning Boobs

I'm in the habit of checking my stats to see the kind of searches people do on the Internets to get to my blog (which has become a regular Friday feature for me). I've calculated that about 10% of my daily visitors reach my blog via some kind of Internet search.

I've also calculated that of that 10%, the large majority of those people (roughly 80%) reach my blog searching for women's breasts using ever possible slang term for them. Or some other kind of strange porn stuff I won't really repeat here.

Granted, I haven't helped the situation much thanks to my frequent listing of these strange searches each Friday. It's started a snowball effect.

What also hasn't helped the situation much is the title of my blog. "Cherry Ride" is a slang term from the 70s that I used with friends in college, grad school and then in Portland to describe a nice/sweet/rad car. If you were walking down the street and you saw a souped-up Mustang drive by, you'd say "Dude, that is a cherry ride!" (In my circle of friends we'd say it mockingly because we all drove Ford Tempos and Honda Civics.)

I thought most people were familiar with this term, but apparently not, as I'd often get people asking my what the title of this blog refers to. I thought the term "cherry ride" was universally known.

I know that the term "cherry" especially when combined with the word "ride" can have other connotations as well, which is what I think brings a lot of the sickos to my blog. If I'm horny enough to be Googling "big virgin [mammaries]" at 3 am (and yes, somehow someone did find my blog that way) and a blog called "The Cherry Ride" comes up, well I'm probably going to click on it.

So I think moving forward I'm going to keep the references to female body parts to a minimum. From now on, this blog will be known only for Trannies and, after yesterday, Sharting.

But having said that, some people found my blog this week by Googling: "It's the tight ride, bitches" and "public urination fine in Milwaukee."

Peace Out and have a good weekend, y'all.

PROPER.

24 comments:

Prashant Sridharan said...

If you're going to ban talk about breasts, I simply don't know what else to talk about. Can I talk about cute little butts, or perhaps great hair? Heaven forbid that I'm forced to talk about the dreaded "great personality". This is a sad day for our nation.

Mr. Shain said...

yesterday i realized that if you google "boss dying of AIDS" my blog comes up on the first page (at #10). it was a little bit of a downer. but i do get a lot of hits for "transexual" as well, so it all works out.

blythe said...

i only get hits for zach braff. it's sad.

captain corky said...

First of all I'm hurt man. Where's the link love?

Second of all, again I come to your blog because of Aquatic telepathy. And when that doesn't work all you have to do is send out a signal alert on your Justice League cell phone.

captain corky said...

P.S. Of course I'm going to add your link too.

Jenny! said...

Well, I guess I will stop coming...since I thought Cherry Ride meant the dirtier option!

5 of 9er said...

Nothing like a good public urination fine in Milwaukee.

mysterygirl! said...

I didn't know what a cherry ride was until today. First sharting and now this-- it's been quite a week for life lessons over here at the Cherry Ride, hasn't it?

minijonb said...

i'm gonna get outta here and go make my ride look even more cherry than it is now! thanks.

michael5000 said...

We are going to have to find a new forum for information, updates, and discussion on Helen Mirren's boobs.

Airam said...

I always thought it had something to do with a car (ride = vehicle) ... thanks for explaining it further though!

Keep letting us in on how people get to your blog because they're hilarious!

Mr. Shain said...

who the hell are you people who don't (didn't) know what the hell a "cherry ride" is?!? did you grow up in a linguistic cave? DID YOU?!

blythe said...

maybe. no. i knew what it meant, i've just never had one.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Silly me. I thought this blog was about popular sundae toppings.

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Okay, fair enough. Leave the boob talk to The Doctor.

Hey, I never got a chance to comment on your shart post. Here goes.
1. How come the guy in the picture sharts and he's surrounded by buxom women?
2. I started reading Drunken Chud's blog after he talked about a close-call snarting experience. That's when you accidentally fart from a sneeze.

Dop said...

For some reason, my blog is the one you go to if you google "Nicole Richie" and "50 Cent". However, when I think of boobs, I see your face. Um.. I mean...

Betty Boob Hug said...

snarting - now that I can ALMOST relate to. WHen you have a few kids, things downstairs take a much, ah, looser tone. So - sneezing is dangerous. Jumping up to catch a ball is dangerous. Bursting out laughing is risky. So unless you want to risk bending over and breaking loud wind, or smell like you've wee'd in your knickers - girls - do those pelvic floor exericeses religously. Listen to the dragon-lady midwife who tells you to do your pelvic floor lifts - because snarting will happen and the flood gates will open.
Once, when my Mum was visiting, I bent over to pick up a toy on the floor and let out one hugely unacceptable fart that scared the baby and had my Mum looking at me in horror.

If you are a female; pelvic floor is your magic word. Do them.

If you are male: you've got no real excuse for sharting or snarting or any other leakage.
None at all!

KAZ said...

Over 'ere 'Losing your cherry' means losing your viginity.
Do you remember that car called a Datsun Cherry? Girls found it a bit embarrasing reporting it's loss to the cops.

JUSTIN said...

"big virgin [mammaries]" - defiantly the road that lead me to this blog.

Greg said...

Mmmm, what about "big virgins sharting?"

Loaf said...

Come on, we all know this will not be your last boobs post!

Blythe & Mr. Shain said...

Dear [Cherry] Ride,

We are worried. No posts. No comments. No nothing. Are you alive? Were your crow shorts destroyed in the laundry? Were you arrested for public intox, again? We need to know, because we care.

Best Regards,

Blythe & Mr. Shain

Laaw-yuhr said...

Ah boobs. If only they'd brought me to you sooner, Cherry Ride.

Mine are certainly my best feature, and given the choice between boobs and brains, I'll take my boobs any day.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh... no more boobs *sob*. "this blog will be known only for Trannies and, after yesterday, Sharting" Trannies and Sharting? Are you talking car parts or gender of people...?
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