Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Fall In Boy

I have a few unofficial mottos, one of which is "Fall can't come quickly enough." (Other mottos include, "on the rocks" "it costs how much?" and "Popozao!" but anyway...)

Despite the fact this fact, I was somewhat shocked upon being reminded that Sunday began the first official day of the season. So Happy Fall everyone.

To celebrate, I went out and purchased two winter coats. Why did I buy two winter coats when it is still in the low 90s here in Chicago? It is a complicated answer: 1) when I see something I want, I tend to just buy it; 2) I couldn't decide which of the two I liked better; 3) I was sorta depressed and buying things makes me less depressed (for a little while, until I realized I spent money that I should be saving which then makes me more depressed than when I started).

But the biggest reason why I bought it is due to the fact that our society has marginalized the Fall season and instead has conditioned us into believing that Winter is more important. So really, I blame society.

Bear with me for a moment. This Marginalization of Fall (called MOF) is true everywhere except maybe in New England (where people really know how to celebrate what I consider to be by far the most awesome season). Sure, there's always hype around the new TV season and football, but otherwise this country is all about skipping the months of September, October and November and heading straight into Christmas.

Don't believe me? Think about it: In Chicago, they started advertising tickets for the Nutcracker back in August. Hallmark has been selling Holiday shit since at least Labor Day (I know this because Captain Corky already bought an ornament from there!). Friday in a bookstore I saw an endcap for fucking Christmas cards. Did I mention it was 91 degrees in Chicago on Friday (yes)? And there they were - Christmans cards (I thought about taking a photo because I couldn't believe it myself, but it was too depressing). Christ on a Bike.

Those responsible for MOF (the government, major retailers, consumer goods manufacturers, Santa, and washed-up musical acts who put out "greatest hits" packages during the Holiday Season -- yes, I'm talking to you Matchbox 20 -- are all united in a secret MOF society) would have us believe there are only three seasons - Spring, Summer and Winter - every year. But I'm declaring war.

I'm just saying No to Winter before its time, and you should too.
(Except for the two winter coats I just bought, which are pretty awesome and would probably be sold out if I wait too long. But you get my point.)


JUSTIN said...

I'm sitting in my apartment as I type, without a shirt on, and yet it still feels like I'm wearing 2 fucking winter coats. The dishes, the garbage and the litter can all wait as far as I'm concerned. You think Tom Skilling might be another member of the secret MOF society?

ADW said...

I think the MOF happens because up here it can snow in September. Really, I think we should downplay that snotty little beyotch Spring and just have two seasons: Winter and the Lowest Circle of Hell Summer.

Mr. Shain said...

first, summer is the awesomest. it's a fact. look it up (on wikipedia).

second, were you a little drunk when you wrote this? it's okay to say yes, drunk.

third, i was jealous of the idea of winter coats (no winter coats in LA) until last year when i remembered that winter coats are worn because of snow and ice and freezing cold. i'm a 'tard, i know.

fourth, where are the pictures?

Guilty Secret said...

I am so glad this finally has a name. I've been moaning about this for years, but now I can just point and say 'MOF' when I see evidence instead of getting into a full-on rant. No-one will know what I'm on about (especially as we call it Autumn) but I'll feel better. Thanks.

Geeky Tai-Tai said...

"MOF" is perfect! You would love it here because ALL of the religions celebrate AUTUMN! Yes, today is the start of the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival with Mooncakes and stuff. There are various types of mooncakes, but I don't like most of them. Hey, they're celebrating the harvest Full Moon, though and I think that's very cool! There's Hari Raya and Deepavali and they're all big-damn-deals here. It's fun because everything is decorated beautifully, and everyone looks forward to the season. However, there is NEVER a need for even 1 winter coat here. That part sucks.

So, I'd like to see pics of those two coats you had to have! You know, to celebrate MOF in the blogosphere.

Rob said...

You are correct that there is no MOF in New England. All kinds of apple picking, craft fairs, pumpkin festivals, foliage reports, etc here around Boston.

Please post some pictures of said winter coats.

ReckenRoll said...

Growing up in Alaska I suffered from some serious MOF. Mostly because we didn't really ever have the "F". We had lots of Winter, Spring Break Up (when winter melts), Summer (or NOT WINTER), and then that kind of week and a half before winter comes again. The leaves fall off the trees in September. You had to wear your Halloween costume over your snowsuit.

As a result, I am with ya Cherry - I LOVE autumn. Oh, and it's my birthday season. That helps.

captain corky said...

Not only did I buy an ornament already but we just put up the tree this weekend. It looks stunning this year. Yep... It's beginning to look like Christmas. Merry Christmas [Cherry]!

Enjoy your coats, I here it get very cold in Chicago during the winter.

lp said...

I love the autumn too!! Mmm apple cider donuts. Cherry, too bad you poo pooed wine, as the autumn is all about curling up in a cozy blanket and drinking wine while sitting in front of a fireplace or our neighbor's backyard fire pit..we'll miss ya ;).

chuckdaddy2000 said...

You have a point. And places that never actually have winters, still obsess on winter.

Portland has like 4 days of winter every other year, but I always hear people call the mildly cold rainy days winter (when they should call it Faring).

blythe said...

can i tell you how glad i am to be free of my first MA/NH/VT winter in seven years? THIS GLAD! having your snot freeze all the way up to your sinuses from checking the mail blows. and yes, NE fall kicks ass. i am so sad not to be able to wave at the bus loads of old folks making their way through Noho on the way to the explosion of trees in VT.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Justin:: I know! This weather is bullshit!

ADW:: I'd prefer two seasons - Srping and Fall. Summer can blow me.

Mr. Shain:: Maybe I was drunk. Doesn't change anything though.

Guilty Secret:: I am here to help. Spread the word.

Geeky Tai-Tai: Wow, no need to rub it in. I already know you live in Singapore and I'm stuck in Chicago ;-)

Rob:: I may have to post photos because these coats rock.

Reckenroll: Mentioning your birthday in my MOF post? Well played.

Corky:: Wow, your problemis even worse than I first thought.

LP:: I neer said I disliked wine; I just said it was overrated. Therefore, I will enjoy some of that wine with you this season.

CD2K:: What I loved about PDX winters is that you could drive to snow when you wanted it and didn't have to worry about it otherwise.

Blythe:: Still, it has to have some benefits over winter in OK, right?

Ellen Aim said...

Yes, you must post pics of these coats. Tell me one is camel.

I'm so jealous. I love foxy coats--shit, I watch the 90s Thomas Crowne Affair just for Rene Russo's winter outfits--and yet, I live in Dallas.

And what a great post.

Eve said...

Fall in Chicago lasts about two weeks. I'm sure you can remember trick-or-treating in the snow.

5 of 9er said...

It's my favorite time of the year... and that Harvest Moon last night was tops.