Tuesday, July 01, 2008

2008: Half Empty or Just Half Full of Shit?

Happy July 1, everyone!

Sure, it is Canada Day or something like that,but who cares (Airam)? There are more important things to celebrate - like the year being half over.

If the [Cherry] Clan was back in the Old Country, we'd be celebrating these last 162 Earth rotations of 2008 with a traditional feast of game hen, ginger beer and pole dancing. But we are a long way from the Old Country, I suppose, so instead I'll celebrate the completion of 1H08 by eating Hostess products* and reminding everyone that the days are just getting shorter from here on out (and have been for almost two weeks), so put that in yer pipe and smoke it.

Hard to believe that 6 months ago at this time I was in London drinking heavily, wearing a tiara, and making an ass of myself by shouting at strangers on double decker buses. (Wish I could say that so much has changed since then, but -- considering that just this past Saturday I was drinking heavily, wearing clown accessories and still making an ass of myself -- I guess things are pretty much the same.) Just look at how far I've come in these last 6 months!

Speaking of, guess this is a good time to check in on how I'm progressing on my New Year's Resolutions, to see if I need to make some adjustments for the second half of the year.

2008 Resolutions:

  1. Ace All My Classes. That's about to fall through the floor, thanks to this summer's Chemistry class. I'm adjusting it to be instead: Ace All of My Classes Not Taken During the Summer.
  2. Contribute in a Meaningful Way to the Betterment of Society. Definitely on track for this one. I voted in the Illinois primary; I also gave a woman directions to the Red Line that one night. These definitely count. Kinda.
  3. Eat More Vegetables. Making strides in this area as well. There was a salad in April. And guacamole. Lots of guac (that's like 50% vegetable or something).
  4. Buy a New Bike. Check.
  5. Be A Man About Town, Singing All the Lonely Dirges of My Youth. WTF? I don't even know what this means? I must have been drunk when I wrote that one down. But what the hell, I think I'm actually doing well with this one. Except for the singing part. And the being a man about town part too. Moving on...
  6. Finally Get a Handle on Those Communicable Diseases. Damn, not so much. Maybe I'll just put this one on the shelf for 2009.
I think I had more, but I'm pretty sure I've misplaced** the list.

Here's to a PROPER 2H08!!

* This is really no different than any other day.
** And by "misplaced" I mean "threw that bitch into the trash."


Mighty Dyckerson said...

Game hen?? I always knew you had an affinity for cocks.

FitnessNerd said...

Hmmm...so the Syph is why you had the red nose. It is all so clear now!

And you suck for not being there for Market Days :-P I shall not toast you in Vegas now.

d said...

i like that the only one you actually achieved involved spending money.

Astrogirl426 said...

Your family, too, with the pole dancing? Huh. I thought that was just us.

Oh yeh, those New Year's resolutions (flinching). Ow. Ya had to bring them up, huh? As for me, I'm doing pretty well on #2, Do more things that require a set (and I'm not talking peeing on the wall). I've gone to a casting call for the new Woodstock movie (where I put on my application that I would be willing to do full nudity...yeah, baby!), I've taken up riding a motorcycle (or "deathcycle" as my set-less husband would say), and I'll be getting a tattoo in a few weeks (or, "destroying the gift of human form that God blessed you with" as my dad likes to say).

Oh yeh, I guess I can cross #1 off the list: Become the black sheep of the family. Check!

Kadonkadonk said...

You can remember your resolutions? Geezuz, the best way to get out of having to do that shit is to just forget them.

Airam said...

Hey! People care that it's Canada Day!


House of Jules said...

I forgot how hardcore your resolutions list was. You should just do what I do every NYE: Resolve not to make any resolutions. Although, I must admit that the lonely durge singing intrigued me. Can you do that while wearing your clown nose?
House of Jules

PS: Your post title is also a good fit for Spammon's post today.

I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw said...

Please don't ever say 1H08 or 2H08 EVER again. Seriously. I gagged.

Are you going to be out West in July? I need some Chang time!

fort knocks said...

I love eating Hostesses. Last week, I ate a hostess from Applebees for like forty minutes.

minijonb said...

i look at it as i only have 6 more months of procrastination on the resolutions for this year. it gets me by.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

What about getting laid more in the second half of the year?

classyandfancy said...

I think Dr. Ken was thinking about the communicable diseases portion of your list.

surviving myself said...

Also - for #2 - you have a blog!!!

Jake Titus said...

Might I suggest Tequila. It makes singing and being the man about town a whole lot easier.

I'm Frank said...

My new year's resolutions all involved wearing a monocle and expanding my collection of velvet suits. 'Tis a good year.

blythe said...

shain is actually 35% guacamole. little known fact.