People May Not Care That You're Away...

You know when you haven't blogged in a long time and there's just too much to catch up on so why even bother? Yeah, that's kinda what I'm going through at the moment. Something like 16 of the last 25 days have been spent in the Pac Northwest, the place I used to call home that I love and miss very much. I am very reluctant to leave. The trip was a lot of work, and a lot of fun; the best of times, the toughest of times; some laughter (drunk), some tears (drunk, not drunk, hungry). Better than Cats and all that shit.

I'm on the plane heading back to Chicago, and I'm exhausted. During the week I was up late and up early for work stuff; on the weekends I was out late catching up with friends. Instead of boring you all with the play-by-plays (wedding receptions, speeding tickets, celebrity sightings, jogging while intoxicated, you know - the usuals) I'm instead reviewing some of the memorable words said in my presence or texted to me over the course of my trip.

Share them with you? OK, but only because you've insisted. Note: some of the names of the guilty have been redacted to save embarassment.

1. "Like the Doobie Brothers, I'm Taking It To The Streets" (MK, referring to his weekend)
2. "I'm also giving you a ticket for aggressive driving" (Washington State Trooper, who gave me a ticket for going 80 in a 60 somewhere outside of Olympia)
3. "I AM Julie Andrews!" (Kate at the Alibi Room)
4. "That's the problem with christian rock -- you think you're listening to Goo Goo Dolls or Sarah McLachlan and then suddenly it's too late" (PG, referring to the horrible radio options on the drive from Seattle to Portland)
5. "It's a Boston Thing -- you wouldn't understand" (said by me and Kate to Recken at the Alibi Room)
6. "I met a homeless guy with no thumbs the other night" (texted to me out of nowhere by GFC)
7. "[C]R will have a boyfriend before you do" (Dave to Recken, when discussing possible wedding dates)
8. "I should have at least removed my SPANX" (SS, referring to some other stuff we don't really need to get into)
9. "I woke up and had no idea what was going on - I walked into the kitchen to take a dump" (MK, referring to his Sunday morning)
10. "This is the first I have heard the term 'Cock Block' and will be incorporating it in to my everyday worklife as often as possible" (SS via e-mail)
11. "That song is Spunky. And I need to inject some Spunk into my life this summer" (me, to Erin, referring to this)
12. "She doesn't like Shia LeBouf??? Why the fuck does anyone have a problem with Shia LeBouf??" (RK)
13. "Hurricane!!" (Recken)
14. "Vaginal discharge" (texted to me by a guy on my blogroll who shall remain nameless during a very important work meeting)
15. "The 80s called and they want their shoes back" (SR, referring to these)
16. "I want my own Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa!" (MA, while listening to Vampire Weekend)
17. "I can't serve you shots of vodka because that's against the rules. However, I can serve you tumblers of vodka over ice if you'd prefer" (by the bartender and Erin & Ryan's reception)
18. "I'm embarrassed to ride in your car with you!" (AR, referring to my piece of shit rental car)
19. "I've been duped by Newton Faulkner!" (me to Ryan & Erin, after purchasing the less-than-stellar new NF CD)
20. "We'll be a power couple in Boston!" (Recken)