Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Black Eyed Peas Suck

This has been a long time coming. This band just sucks. It might be argued that they started out strongly - a new fresh hip-hop sound. But c'mon, now they're just lame. Is there not a product these guys won't suck-up for? Apple and iTunes, XM Satellite Radio, Verizon (perhaps with worst cell carrier in the US). Did I see them in a Chevy commercial the other day? Swear to God, Carl's Jr. is next. Their current tour is sponsored by the Honda Civic, for fuck sake! They have no credibility. To wit:

  1. A few years ago they change their song "Let's Get Retarded" to "Let's Get it Started" to sell a few more records. Granted, the whole retarded thing wasn't all that PC but whatever.
  2. "Elephunk" features appearances from Papa Roach (yes, Papa Roach) and Justin Timberlake. Which makes sense, because if I was out there trying to gain credibility as a hip-hop band, I'd get two white guys to help me out.
  3. What's the deal with Fergie, anyway? Lots of surgery, that one. She's starting to look like the child of Mickey Rourke and Melanie Griffith. Girl, you're not even middle-aged yet. Give it a rest!
  4. "My Humps" is perhaps the worst song recorded in 2005. (Except, of course, by anything from Nickelback, but that goes without saying.)
  5. They're touring with The Pussycat Dolls (!), the biggest novelty act of this decade. As a band, aren't you supposed to pick a opening act that closely aligns with your muiscal sensibilities? To admit that you'd like to tour with the Pussycat Dolls is admitting you make shit music. You might as well be touring with that William Hung guy.
    1. And while we're on the subject of the Pussycat Dolls, what's with that song "Stickwitu?" Wow, that's romantic. If my lover told me they wanted to "stickwitme forever" I'd run em over in my car. Learn a little proper english.
Finally, you just can't take a band seriously when the members are called Will.I.Am, Apl, and Taboo.

You may be asking, why I care so much about this or why I've given it so much thought? Its because on Monday I was driving from DC to Chicago and heard that fucking "Humps" song everywhere. And by everywhere I mean even in West Virginia and eastern Ohio. (Have you been to those areas? Radio is dominated by Gospel, Classic Rock and Christian Contemporary. And now, apparently "My Humps" too.) That, and because I have nothing else to do.

31 comments:

Rich said...

'...but nobody can love me better...I must stick witchu 4eva!!' ; )

FINALLY...someone else agrees with the crappy hype that is 'B.E.P.'!!

And the scary thing is 'Beep', the new track by 'The Dolls' features the man with the silly name, Will.I.Am.!! Any excuse to get close to scantily clad booty!

Bring back old skook non commercial B.E.P. if we have to have them at all! (see 'Hey DJ' feat Macy Gray!)

Anonymous said...

Heh..you know too much about them =P

Idle_mind said...

You said it. Most of their popular songs are covers, they have little originality. The guitar intro in "Pump it" is from Miserlou (soundtrack of pulp fiction), the lyrics from Don't phunk with my heart is take from Lisa LIisa's I Wonder if I take you home, with the same arrangement. I just have a history of recognizing old tunes from their so called songs.

Music, Or Something Like It. said...

They are absolute garbage.

If you want to continue a rant about the Black Eyed Peas, let's talk about how "Let's Get It Started" was nominated for RECORD OF THE YEAR at the 2004 Grammys.

I seriously threw a fucking fit when I saw that in the Record of the Year category. The fact that this group has recieved multiple Grammy nominations in recent years is just mind-boggling to me.

That being said, I enjoyed this entry and you should read my music blog, http://mp3sandcookies.blogspot.com, if you're interested in reading similar rants I have about various artists haha.

Anonymous said...

Yes, fuck the black eyed peas. They kill me and bring a bad name to hip hop (they suck).

Anonymous said...

The black eyed peas may be the best band in the history of music.
they have amazing voices, amazing sound, and amazing personalities.
have you heard their new song "meet me halfway?" it's amazing, to say the least.
they are such a unique band, and i dearly hope that this will not be their last cd.

Anonymous said...

Ill admit I actually liked elephunk and monkey business. However the end made me want to vomit. It has to be the worst hip hop album ever. Its fucking techno for christ sake. All the songs are so similar i need to look at the title to tell what the hell im listening to.

Anonymous said...

These guys suck so bad... They are like watching a cheerleading competition. No talent whatsoever. It gives music a black-eye, any genre!!!!!

Anonymous said...

william is a dumb monkey. fergie is a tranny. the whole backeye peas group sucks. who buys their crappy cds? all these black people are loud and talk like retarted apes. ebonics is not a language william. i am sorry but you are full of it and will be addicted to crack soon enough!

Anonymous said...

elephunk -> good

monkey business -> great

The E.N.D. -> Disgusting, just for the money....

Anonymous said...

Thank you - I'm not even into music that much, but when I see them they are incredibly transparent marketing themselves out for any hype. Glad to see that others agree and aren't duped into what the marketing and media would have us believe to be Music or a Band.

Anonymous said...

Their newest piece of crap "I Gotta Feeling" is once again killing the music charts.

Bleh

Anonymous said...

i just cant understand how or why Black eyed PEEs even made it to the music charts...

B.E.P just makes me sick

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with above comment! B.E.P sucks big time, it´s uninteresting and lame shitmusic. It´s not that i don´t like commercial music, but B.E.P does not make any sense, when would you ever like to listen to this crap?!

Anonymous said...

Black-Eyed Peas suck, butt you are a impared moron if you think Nickelbvack sucks.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, whoah, whoah.. Anonymous, you DARE call thers guys the best band ever? You DARE compare them to the voices of Queen and The Beatles? Their music is synthesized, their manages got charged for assult recently, and they have no solos or good instruments. Even dare compare their INSTRUMENTS to Billy Talent- a good but not too popular bamd and you have issues.

Benjamin Dickmann said...

I googled "Black Eyed Peas Suck" and this page was the first one on the list. I'm happy to know that there are others out there who feel the same way I do about their crappy music. I swear, they write music for kids. Just listen to how the music is written and the awful lyrics that accompany it. They're just another example of how people will listen to ANYTHING because it's played on the radio. Lady Gaga has more talent than all members of the BEP combined. At least she writes all her own music, and that some of it is actually catchy without it being lame. Yep, BEP suck hard.

Allie said...

haha BEP broke a bunch of billboard records and have had record breaking number one hits this past year, soo....
BEP FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
i love you ferg

Anonymous said...

BEP has little talent when you break it down to lyrics, use of instruments and originality. They do have stage appeal so I concur with the cheerleader comment. Their performance last night on idol was totally lame.

We enjoy nearly all types of music and attend live concerts every few weeks. No interest in BEP...as they represent poor taste in music and I don't care to attend a show with an audience that has poor taste in music.

Glad to know others share these observations..

Larry Mollard said...

The Black Eyed Peas are the absolute worst thing to happen musically. Maybe Nickelback is worse... I don't know. But the Black Eyes Peas are, to use a word that they know, retarded.

Anonymous said...

Not sure why Black Eyed Peas irritates me so much but maybe I should start with "One Tribe 'all...one tribe ya'll..." For fucks sake - enuf with the "tribe" crap.

And then the names... "Hi, my name is William but I'm so hardpressed to be different - yet individual and creative - I think I will fuck with the spelling. Let's see...how about Will I (period) Am."

Blech.

And then that stupid performance on I'm not sure what show...(Mtv awards?) where they all come out and do their thing and the shit audience goes wild. What on EARTH are these people smoking?

Lastly, I just gotta say thanks to the bloke who started this blog. All I had to do was put in, "I can't stand Will I. Am" and voila. Not surprising to see I'm not the only one that wishes Black Eyed Peas would dry up and go away.

And the most fucked up part of all this is that I'm spending time on my Friday night writing about how much they bug me.

It does feel good though and I suppose that is what makes it all worth it.

:-D

Joe said...

Like my colleagues on this page I also googled "The Black Eyed Peas Suck" and came up with this.

I am a pretty open minded guy. I am a live and let live type of guy but when I see that damn will i am dancing like a ghetto fool and people really buying into him being "cool". Hell yea...Fergie is sexy, but who are these other goofs that sit in the background dancing somebody elses choreography? Does anybody in this "band" play an instrument or do they just put words together that may sometimes rhyme and other times sound a little similar and then once in awhile not sound anything alike. I guess that "Boom boom boom" sort of goes together???? Idiots!

You would think that for a lesser man this groups financial success would be proof that "If a person dreams a big enough dream, anything can happen" or maybe even "See...you don't need to have incredible talent to be able to be successful in doing whatever you are passionate about!". But I am afraid that I am not one of those people. I hear no passion in this crap and am just bitter and disillusioned at the world when I see people like these being the "musicians" that are influencing the next generation.

Sincerely,

Joe Roth (Author of The Mentor)

Byron Shelley Injeeli said...

i totally agree. i hate the black eyed peas. the only artist who has made worse music is justin ****** bieber.

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Byron Shelley Injeeli

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Anonymous said...

BLACK EYED PEAS SUCK *SS!!!!!! Where do I even START? And why are they even anywhere near the words, QUEEN and THE BEATLES?

The only reason why this band has even "made it" is because they have connections. Fugly fug has been in music since she was in Kid's Incorporated at the approximate age of 5. Will I Am is probably a cool cat that got sucked in and let's face it, the music business is hurting, so why not help your friends?

When you have friends in the "biz" and your lead singer's husband is Josh Duhamel who has made a Sh**load of $$$$$ from the movie transformers, you can AFFORD to brainwash the airwaves and spill your crappy music worldwide. I mean, who cares that your face looks like Mr. Potatoe got played as long as you have big boobs and you look like *gasp* A SLUT.

As for the rest of the band, I'm sorry to say, their days were numbered after they let the Newport Beach tramp into their vulnerable yet at least at the time, creative/underground world.

OVERPRODUCED CRAP. Just redundant and mass marketed bullsh** they keep ramming down our current generation's throat. Don't get me wrong, I have a secret love affair with overproduction, but for the love of God, at least make it interesting and provocative. Not STUPID.

Anonymous said...

Um. Regarding the previous comment, just in case some of you who don't know who Mr. Potato is, I meant Mr. Potato Head.

Thanks for the fellow commenters on this blog. You've made my day because like I said, BLACK EYED PEAS SUCK!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh no, they are the greatest band EVER! My band can't decide on which name to use. It's a toss up between The Zuchini's, The Honeydew Melons, The Summer Squash's and The Artichoke Hearts. I thank you all for your support....and yes, they do inhale the sausage, SEVERELY!!!!!

Anonymous said...

How could anyone criticize such great talent ? There is few bands that can be formed in a test tube in Easy E's sex lab the sell 27,000,000,000 records without Satan. You just try to make an album without the ability to read music or play a real instrument, it's really hard, like tacos. Next time you goto Guitar Center, just try to recreate their Phunk beats and Kool jingles with the $3500.00 Yamaha Keyboard Studio MOTIF XS8 and you will spend at LEAST one hour to do so. Yes one whole hour, and times that by eight songs would take 8 hours for a whole album ! Wel, may-Bee I. J.Ust Egg-zad-ur-8, n....not ay h.o.l.e 8 hourzz.
I bet you just don't have it in you, you hater ;( *&()^&%^$%&%#$ I.Am.

And Boring Furhergerson, when she was a MOUSKETEER has to sign the contract with the Kloven Hoof, then get addicted to speed, then, well you know, to get it the band, what courage, what inspiration to all the "young ladies" in the industry.

Think about this, how can you call them sellouts when they were manufactured deep in the Arizona Desert ? Thats like calling a turd a sellout cause it stinks, thats like calling a cabbage lazy, saying they suck is like calling a Black Hole a Singularity! Absurd(*@#&$@!)( I.SAY.I.AM #*$&@#@#)(

Im serious man, I used to buy my thrift-store-remake-dont-match -clothes-small-paul from super high line boutiques when I was all street n shit, you know, to fit in. Anyway I don't think anyone here is going to support my reasoning that the Crack Eyed Trees are the best ever 4 ever...I mean...thats what this blog is about, right ?? &#(#$)(@#$)* I.am.

Anonymous said...

they suck. no talent, except possibly in comedy. what a joke this band always has been. sad. no one ever went broke underestimating the gullibility of the american "consumer".

Anonymous said...

Everyone needs to know...Music has become all about politics!! Think about it...There are several bands out there that TRULY suck!! I do not know anyone that even owns a black eyed peas or any other crap music out there but yet they win awards. That is only because companies are trying to push you into thinking they are good. They use machines to make sounds and to make their voices great. That is why there is only one way to see who truly is great...and that is to go to a LIVE show...with real musicians playing and singing...that is true and real music...not this hip-hop gay shit!!

Jay said...

To say the Black Eyed Peas suck is an insult to bands that actually do suck.

Anonymous said...

blackeyedpeas suck almost as much as Kiss and Kiss really really suck.