Thursday, March 27, 2008

While I'm Gone

It is currently sleeting in Chicago. Normally I would hate this, but in a matter of hours I'll be boarding a plane for a warmer clime. That's right shawties, the [Cherry] is going on vacation.

For the next 8 days I will be: starting my day with an OJ and margarita, swimming and body surfing in the ocean, getting a great tan on the beach, eating jamon-flavored chips and taking afternoon siestas with the cool breeze of the Gulf of Mexico lulling me to sleep.

When I return I expect:

  1. Temperatures in the 60s in Chicago.
  2. The Democrats to get their act together.
  3. The Sox to win their home opener.
  4. A good lineup for this year's Lolla announced.
  5. John McCain to get his teeth fixed. (Seriously, if I need to look at him talk over these next few months the least he can do is go see a dentist.)
  6. Hilarious stories of general douchebaggery, intoxication, and/or sexual deviation and depravity over the April Fools Holiday (one of my personal favorite holidays) from all of you.
  7. The iPhone to Nut It Up to at least 40 GBs.
  8. American Idol to be over. Seriously, enough of this shit already.
  9. To look and feel at least 10 hours younger.
Hasta Luego, bitches.


I'm Frank said...

Since I'll be in Chicago during this time, I will see to it that all your expectations are met, especially the American Idol part. I saw an episode of that a few days ago, and while it only wasted an hour of my life, it felt like 15 years of my youth and joy vanished instantly.

Anonymous said...

i'm so jealous. not of the gulf of mexico bit, but your ability to flee from the evilness which is "american idol."

ok. maybe a weeee bit jealous of the gulf of mexico bit ;)

have a great time!

Jules said...

I'm so excited for you! I hope nobody writes "PALE" in sunblock on your body while you're snoozing on the beach.

Rest assured that I will make it my mission to getting a head start on the 3rd part of #6 on your list.

Have a fabulous trip!
House of Jules

Essentially Me said...

Have fun!

d said...

dude. you go on a lot of vacations. nursing school must be paying more than i thought.

and i think you meant to say, 'hasta luego, putas'.

Prashant Sridharan said...

#2. Not gonna happen. If it did, they'd be called "Republicans".

#6. Done.

carolyn says said...

have fun you lucky bastard

paul said...

Re #5: I've got a feeling they're still his own teeth and he's too proud to have a set made. My gram is approaching 80 and still has all of hers. And I don't think they recommend veneers when you're past 70.

Some Guy said...

Hasta Pronto, Senor Cherry! Have fun!

5 of 9er said...

Way to support the Sox... a true southsider!

FitnessNerd said... do you get to travel so much. :-P

1. No..though it is supposed to hit 65 on Tuesday
2. HA
3. Hockey?
4. Maybe
5. Only if he takes care of the extra flap of skin that spills over his shirt collar, too
6. Done
7. Not gonna happen...Hopefully we'll get GSM this year.
8. How dare you defile AI
9. You're forever young [Cherry]

I'm adding another:
10. [Cherry] Gets slapped for saying The Pretenders classic song is "GLASS in Pocket" not "Brass in Pocket"

Spammon said...

I'd love to see the iPhone get a keyboard that is actually useable with hard buttons. That damn touchscreen is lame for texting. And how about adding a GPS morons! And those are the reasons I passed on it.

classyandfancy said...

I expect #6 from you, nothing more, nothing less.

ReckenRoll said...

Um, who approved this holiday? YOU KNOW that all international travel needs to be approved by ReckenRoll.

I am noting this in your permanent record.

Jake Titus said...

My tan from the January trip to Mexico is gone. I soooo need another vacation. Enjoy.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You are so lucky!

I got number 6 covered.

I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw said...

I hope, no, I KNOW you are having a fabulous time. What ended up being the verdict on the madras shorts? Btw, my shoes you helped me buy were a big hit. Miss ya Cherry!

Mr. Shain said...

so, how was rehab?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I hear most people who start their day with "OJ" end their day in a pine box.