Tuesday, June 24, 2008

So Long, Simon

[Me and Simon, the day I got him.]

This past weekend I said goodbye to a true friend and trusty companion of mine, my car Simon.

I got Simon on July 7, 2002. He was special - a limited Canadian Launch Edition Mini Cooper (number 452 of 500 made) that was one of several purchased in Vancouver, BC and driven down to Oregon by the Portland Lexus dealer. At that time, it was impossible to get a Mini any other way, because the only Mini dealer in the state had not yet received their shipment because of several production delays (those "lucky" enough to get on the one-year list to buy one were originally supposed to get delivery in June but had to wait until late August - suckers!). Because of this, Simon was one of the only Minis in Portland for the whole summer and he turned heads everywhere we went. It was awesome.

Simon was a good friend and we had some good times together. I know it is silly to humanize a heap of glass, plastic and metal parts; to assign it characteristics and personality (to me, Simon had an easy, friendly and yet refined manner), but in the end it doesn't matter - I miss him like he was a real friend.

After all, my car has been through a lot with me; he's seen me at my best and worst -- I've laughed with friends and family in that car; I've cried alone in that car; I've yelled and started arguments; belted out bad 80's songs from the top of my lungs; danced to bad 90s songs in him; made important decisions; experienced both fear and wonder with him; shared secrets and flipped people the "V" in that car. I was driving Simon when my brother called to tell me that our dad had a heart attack and I needed to fly home right away, and when my friend Shauna called to say she was pregnant. Simon has driven me to weddings and funerals, to engagement parties, birthday bashes and memorial services. I've had wildly inappropriate groping and make-out sessions in him. Speeding tickets and near-miss accidents. I was in Simon at the very moment I decided that if I had some balls I would leave my career to become a nurse instead.

I've driven him to and from San Francisco and Seattle and Vancouver and Philadelphia and NYC. He's driven me clear across the country from Portland to DC, and then again a year later from DC to Chicago. I once left Portland at 2 pm on a Friday afternoon and arrived in Chicago by 8am that Sunday morning (that's gotta be some kind of record), stopping only for food and a 2-hour nap in Iowa.

Simon was a good car to me and never let me down. He was broken into twice - once for my cell phone on Christmas Eve, the other for a few lousy CDs. He's had some scrapes and flats, but always ran like a champ until just a few weeks ago. He blew a rod and developed engine troubles, and it would cost me more than $6K to get him fixed - which I was willing to do - but a mechanic at the shop offered me a really great deal, so I decided it was time for Simon to start a second life with some new people that I know will take good care of him and undoubtedly give them some good times too.

So goodbye, Simon. You'll be missed little buddy.

25 comments:

blythe said...

really? a mini? i should've guessed. are you replacing it with a vespa? i think, actually, a scooter is a good idea. they're perfect for capes.

Michael5000 said...

This is the sweetest eulogy to a car I've ever seen. For serious. Changing vehicles is a big milestone. (Or so I'm told. I'm still 14 years into my first car.)

5 of 9er said...

It was such a gay car.

I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw said...

SAD!!! I will miss Simon lots. He was a good little car and I totally remember the Monday you came in after you got him and how exciting it was to know someone that had a MINI.

Rachel said...

I could've taken care of him for you!

Really, though, I'm attached to one or two cars very much so, but not so much to the one I have now. I'm sure that will change when I have to get rid of it.

Ellen Aim said...

It's so true. I remember leaving my '88 Toyota Camry with 250,000 miles on him with someone else. the undercarriage had gotten totally wrecked after a blowout and wasn't worth the money to fix. I felt bad walking away, like I was deserting him!!

And why did you pick the name "simon"?

ReckenRoll said...

Only one word applies:

Sadcakes.

surviving myself said...

The "v?"

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Blythe:: I KNOW you're not here to bad mouth my Mini Cooper! And how do you know that I don't already own a scooter?

M5K:: I wrote this post sincerely and with heart, so thank you for recognizing that.

Niner:: You know what else is gay? Your hot pants.

Carrie:: I know, right? He was such a good boy.

Rachel:: I think it very important to love your car while you have it! Maybe it is time for a trade-in!

Ellen:: My Mini was such a British car that it needed a vey British name. Of course, the name Simon has since gone on to be associated with people like Simon Cowell (barf), but at the time it felt very anglo-riffic!

Recken:: Sadcakes indeed. I may or may not have cried on Friday night (which is also in itself sadcakes).

Surviving Myself:: Yes, the "V." It is the new "fuck off" gesture. Start passing it around.

minijonb said...

r.i.p. Simon, my VW Betty just cried a tear for you.

I'm Frank said...

I wish my car had a name.

But then again, a 2002 Ford Windstar with 330,000 miles on it really doesn't deserve a name.

Unless it's "Ol' Rusty."

fort knocks said...

I just lost my first car, and by "lost" I mean sold to Victory Auto Wreckers for $200 while drunk.

classyandfancy said...

I thought blowing a rod was a good thing or is that knocking rods?

Maestro said...

How sad, it looks like it was cute and fun to drive. I have always wanted one but I could never get a tuba in the backseat, wait that sounded so very nerdy.

Big Daddy said...

Circle of life.

Your comment on own of my posts has motivated me to get a Mini.

Krista said...

ummm...I think you messed up the name. Remember that we discussed and decided on NUMEROUS occasions? SHE was named "Ermengarde" (spelled phonetically)...

If you are going to give a eulogy, how about you don't forget her transgendered past? Seriously...

House of Jules said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
House of Jules said...

I just wrote this really long (but heartfelt!) comment and blogger ate it.

RIP Simon!

Jules
House of Jules

JUSTIN said...

You offered use of Simon to me in my recent time of need...although Simon and I had but a brief affair, I will always treasure our time together.

PS - I told you he needed an oil change! [sniff]

Mr. Shain said...

9er's right; minis are totes gay. that said, if there weren't a pic of you and the car included in this post, it would be easy to mistake simon for a real (human) friend. touching, in a weird way. this is the type of writing that hooks people.

p.s. blythe rocks

surviving myself said...

I tried it yesterday and the person just looked at me.

So I stuck my tongue out at them.

FitnessNerd said...

Poor Simon...

*sniff*

Of course, I lease vehicles. So, I get rid of those bitches in three years. Molly is down to two years!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

What's the story with your new ride? I want to meet him!

Spammon said...

So what did you replace Simon with? If you get one of these, then I despise and envy you at the same time.

d said...

aw. bye simon.