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F*ck Off Fridays
Special Fuck You shout-out goes to my Chemistry professor thanks to four activities over the last two weeks:
- I accidentally spilled a little water on my lab report during lab on Tuesday. Because of this, she actually yelled at me for not being more careful. Seriously. Everyone stopped to look. In all my years of college (yeah, there's been a few), I've never been yelled at by a professor. Like I fucking meant to spill water on it. Like I was a fucking 7-year old child.
- We had a quiz yesterday, part of which involved identifying the atomic number of a list of elements. One of the elements she gave us - Polonium - was not on the study guide she provided. When the class pointed out to her that it was not on the list and therefore not an element she had asked us to to study, she replied with: "Well, Polonium is an important element and you should know it anyway." You know what else I should know, professor? That I am going to KICK. YOUR. UNORGANIZED. ASS.
- Last week I had to leave class 30 minutes early for a work meeting. I didn't tell her I was leaving, I just left. I missed the last 30 minutes of a 3.5 hour class (3.5 hours, people!). Because of this, she marked me absent for the entire class period (and we are graded on attendance)! Fuck you, devil woman.
- We had a quiz on Monday. We had a quiz yesterday. We have another quiz on Monday. That's three quizzes over the span of 5 classes. I know this is summer school and therefore by definition it sucks my ass, but it is clear she fully has no intention of any of us having even just a little bit of fun this summer.
Because of these reasons listed above and others, she leaves me no choice but to show up to class one day completely drunk and belligerent. I don't care that it is a morning class.
Enjoy your Fuck Off Friday, Prof!
21 comments:
"Essentially Me" covered it succinctly, but I gotta go one further and assume that at the start of each day she kicks you & your classmates in the crotch with her cloven hooves?!
Jules
House of Jules
Scientists are angry people because no one REALLY cares what they do.
If you are taking this class to be a scientist...I am sorry. But not really.
Magic trumps science.
Yup, I'm on the cunt boat...
Wait, that sounded bad, hmmm, smells fishy though.
God...I need coffee :-D
You don't always go to class drunk and belligerent? I guess that was just me and why I had to take speech three times.
Maybe you didn't really spill water, you spilled Hydrochloric Acid. Because you DIDN'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Well, I would have tried that.
It's too bad all Chemistry teachers aren't like Bill Nye. He sure seems cool.
Professor Douchebag I presume?
Ooh, ooh, is it today?! Because today I woke up really early and while I waited for Victory Auto Wreckers to come pick up my car, I got drunk on vodka. So... we're like twins.
i had a grad seminar where one of my colleagues actually did show up complete wasted and reeking of alcohol. it was less funny than you might expect.
I don't even yell at my kids for spilling water. wtf?
Total beeyotch.
I'm kinda glad I'm out of school.
Scratch that...
Very glad.
going to class drunk is a favorite past time of mine
You should learn some background info on her first, that way when you're nice and drunk you scream things like, "Yeah??? Well your Mom never loved you!"
I would also suggest taking up that non-showering you're so good at right around the time you plan your tirade.
This is awful and makes me feel guilty by association (you may remember I used to teach Chemistry).
What's the point of learning Atomic numbers anyway?
Do you fill in a feedback form at the end of the course? Don't hold back.
I suggest you just start wearing a top hat and cape to class, and whenever you want to leave, just throw down one of those smoke bombs and disappear in a cloud of white smoke and maniacal laughter.
I'm not quite sure what this would achieve, but you'd look really badass.
You need to get her laid.
seriously. problem solved.
One of my regrets about my education is that I never went to class drunk.
A quick look at Polonium in the Wiki makes it look like perhaps the least important element on the goddam periodic table. It's certainly no Scandium.
I just read the student rights handbook. You are justified in killing her on the day of the final for any of the transgregions you mentioned.
Professor chick sounds hot. I bet she's an animal in the sack. Give me her number so I can find out.
Oh better yet I had a prof once, she was a real cunt too and then I got strep and licked the door handle to her office. She didn't get it but two weeks later while skiing she broke her leg in 7 places I would like to think Karma did that so cheer up she may get hit by a bus.
What a C-Bag! I am considering going back to college and this makes me not want to. I don't miss this shit at all.
On the bright side, it is summer school so it will be over before you know it.
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