Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Cherry Ride Tips for Triumphant Living #2

[Ed note: The second in a series for helping improve your life, based on my own experiences.]

Guys: I would not presume to tell you how to dance, believe me. However, when you're "gettin' down with the clown" (as Classy would say) and using your arms, two things:

  1. Unless being used for a specific reason - like pointing or jazz fingers* for example -- keep your fingers and hands either closed or in a semi-fist.
  2. Unless you really know what you're doing, keeping elbows in/close to the body is always better.

* Btw, since we're on the subject, always resist the urge for jazz fingers. Always.

15 comments:

5 of 9er said...

It's Jazz Hands... not fingers. And that dude kind of looks like me back in high school (minus the bad shirt)... and I thought I was a good dancer at the time. Ouch!

Prashant Sridharan said...

Really, the best route is to just not dance. Period. If you're a straight man, you do not belong on the dance floor. Unless you're an international man of mystery who asks an international woman of mystery to tango. Then it's perfectly acceptable.

[Cherry] Ride said...

Niner: I must educate you - jazz fingers and jazz hands are essentially two different things. "Hands" inolves a shaking of the whole hand; "fingers" is merely, well, the fingers. (I've unfortunately been in situations where both have been employed.)

Prashant: I'm surprised by your comment! A well excuted dance from a straight man can be an almost guaranteed lay. I figured you of all people would understand that.

5 of 9er said...

But do straight men of mystery ever use jazz hands (I still do not believe in jazz fingers)?

Anonymous said...

fingers, hands, is there such as thing as jazz fists?

classyandfancy said...

In regards to point one, I think that devil horns or air guitar/drums are other appropriate ways to use one's paws, especially while gettin' down to Boston, Toto, or Kansas. Hell, while gettin' down to anything.

darci ann said...

hm, I have to go with Prashant here. Dancing can be dangerous (slow dancing = different story, naturally). Of course such superficial and insecure judgments by females are also telling. So.. maybe the moral of the story is: Dance like nobody's watching; Sing like nobody's listening.. etc. etc.

Lori Mocha said...

Allow me to add one more thing.

Fellas, when dancing, take it easy with the pelvic thrusts.

Like real easy.

But I think you should dance. It's fun!

Dop said...

I found that I tend to snap m fingers while dancing - no matter what music is playing. Its not jazz hands, nor is it closed fist. Something in between. Thats so me.

CHW said...

Excellent post. Hysterical.

Shaun said...

Feel sorry for the poor country of Germany. Germanists cannot dance - it's not in their DNA, hence a falling birth rate. British people can dance, but are not genetically programmed to ski or to know when to stop drinking alcohol.

kathyg said...

i'm sorry shaun, i don't understand...stop drinking alcohol?

Shaun said...

Hi Kathy, I meant to say that most of us Brits drink until we drop and have no self control.

Julie_Gong said...

Jazz fingers? Really?

I appreciate any guy who is willing to dance as long as he doesn't stand behind me and try and grind his man parts into my butt.

And I take offense to the German comment. I beat the hell out of anyone in a dance circle. Ask around... and you will be amazed!

Alannah said...

I agree that Jazz Fingers do not exist separately from Jazz Hands. I also agree with Lori Mocha that the dancefloor is not the place for sodomy.

What about snapping though?