Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Top 5 Reasons Why I Absolutely Despise the Older, Creepy Guy Sitting Across From Me at Starbucks

  1. Did you shower today? Because somebody at this table reeks.
  2. Quit trying to meet my eyes so you can engage me in a conversation. I don't like you. [Btw, neither does this nice girl sitting next to me that you are also trying to start a conversation with.]
  3. You are probably twice my age and you have a fuller head of hair than I do - damn you!
  4. When did Chicago Bears flannel pajama bottoms become acceptable outerwear? Oh, that's right - they didn't. So go home and change into something else. Hopefully by then someone else will have taken your seat.
  5. Your cup of coffee is finished. Now get the hell out.

On a similar note: New CRQOW appears to the right if you haven't already seen.

Happy Holidays!

Unrelated: For past 3 days I've been trying to leave comments on many of y'all's blogs, but something's messed up with the Internets or something like that. Don't give up on me just yet, bitches!


5 of 9er said...

Starbucks are bad news for you... all things bad happen to you in Starbucks. Have you ever noticed this? Maybe it's time to move on. Try some place new. 7-11? White Hen?

Prashant Sridharan said...

As everyone knows, I'm something of a celebrated bon vivant in and around Seattle. Odd since I despise this town with every fiber of my being. But I digress.

Anyway, I always go to a handful of Starbucks around here (there are something like 29 Starbucks within a 1 mile radius of me). I always see various bartender, waitress, nerd, or other friends coming in and out. They always come in and say hi to me as I clack away on my laptop, before leaving into their mysterious and fun lives spent NOT in Starbucks.

I feel like the Godfather. "You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding..."

Mood Indigo said...

I feel like a total conformer. My two responses on the CRQOTW are totally the top vote getters. Bring on the ho ho ho and a bottle of rum...

Matt said...

Definatly avoid Starbucks, it's Cafe Nero all the way for me! Although do you think all the coffee could be lowering your tolerance for the freaks?

Internet always gets a little messed up this time of the year; office parties, hungover techies, everyone winding down for Christmas, or at least that's certainly the mood in our office at the moment!

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Dude, I paid 20 bucks for those Bears pants! And by the way, they're not pajamas, they're zubas.

Funny shit, Cherry!

darci ann said...

ok the lack of shower isn't cool, but come on... you have to love the idea of all of us getting to wear flannel pajama pants! "I have a dream...!"

[Cherry] Ride said...

Sorry Darci - People wearing pajamas is just another sign of the decline of civilization. Show some decorum, people, and put some pants on. Its bullshit.

Dr. ken - no, they were actually flannel pajamas, not zubas. I would have spilled my coffee on him if he was wearing zubas.

Loaf: Nero is great, but there's smoking (if I wanted smoking I'd go to a bar). Plus, there aren;t any here in the States (at least not in Chicago).

Indigo: Good for you! Everyone should Ho it up for the holidays.

Prashant: there's a photo of you hanging above the counter at my local starbucks.

Niner: Yeah, I know. I think I'm addicted to actual Starbucks locations rather than the coffee. It is wrong!

classyandfancy said...

Wait, was this communal seating? Why as adults are we subjected to such treatment? The only acceptable communal seating is at a bier haus or a picnic. With picnics at least you get free potato salad for sitting with strangers.