Saparated at Birth II: Electric Boogaloo

Because I'll be damned if I let anyone tell me I look like Liberace! I decided to try MyHeritage again.

But before I got into all that nonsense, I want to congratulate my friend Shannon for scoring a new Zihuantanejoan boyfriend (and he's Policia too - hot!). I had never heard of this place called Zihuantanejo but Shannon assures me it exists. "Let’s just say it ain’t no Cancun" she says. Well, Shannon, nothing ever is. Here's a photo of the happy couple:

And now getting back to the important issue at hand: ME. I decided to try MyHeritage again using another photo:

I think this is a decent photo of me (despite the large forehead; I must have been leaning into the shot. But anyway...), so I thought it might return better results. (Granted, I was drunk when this photo was taken, and just minutes before this snapshot, I was jumping into piles of garbage on the streets of London [it seemed like a funny idea at the time]. And shortly after this photo, my friend Jessica and I would be refused entry into a SoHo club by an angry lesbian bouncer, but that, alas, is another story.)

And this is what MyHeritage spit back at me:
Christopher Walken Samwise Gamgee Jason Biggs

This totally sucks. Christopher Walken looks like he just stuck an electric handmixer up his ass (not that I would know what that would look like). And am I really as fat as the hobbit?

And just when I had lost all faith, MyHeritage also spit back some top-shelf celebrity hotties:

Hugh Jackman Dennis Quaid David Beckham

I feel better now. But I have to say this David Beckham one must be a serious glitch in their system. As any of my friends know, I unfortunately look nothing like him. Not even close. Even on my best day and his worst. But again, these folks are the experts so who am I to question them?

PS - While I would be flattered to look like Hugh or Dennis, I think it's funny that MyHeritage thinks I look like them in only these really unflattering photos. Hugh looks like he's about to vomit and Dennis looks like he's as drunk as I was on said garbage bag diving night. But I'll take what I can get.