Monday, July 24, 2006

BK Finally Fills the Void Left by Other Fast Food Restaurants

Have you seen these “BK Stackers”? They’re new (or maybe I just finally started paying attention) and available in double, triple and quadruple size. Yes quadruple.

That’s 4 beef patties, 4 slices of American cheese, and 8 strips of bacon.

Sr. VP and “Chief Concept Officer” (I want that job, btw) Denny Marie Post is quoted saying: “
The BK Stacker is simple and built with the very ingredients our restaurant guests love best—meat, cheese and bacon. We're satisfying the serious meat lovers by leaving off the produce and letting them decide exactly how much meat and cheese they can handle."

(I'm quoted as saying: "Are you fucking kidding me with this shit??")

And if that wasn’t enough, it also has BK Stacker Sauce and a sesame seed bun (when you’re eating 4 slabs of beef and 8 pieces of bacon, do you really care what kind of bun you’re eating? And can you even taste the bun??).

For years I’ve been growing dissatisfied with my fast food experiences; there’s been something lacking, something missing. And now I realize what it is – a burger with fucking 4 patties on it, and 8 strips of bacon!

Thank you, Burger King for your Quadruple BK Stacker!

PS – the quadruple has 1000 calories (620 of those calories from fat) 68 grams of fat, 240 mg of cholesterol, and 1800 mg of sodium.

If you’re one of those people who actually buys and enjoys this thing, then you deserve the impending heart disease and heart attack. There, I said it.

7 comments:

Prashant Sridharan said...

I think I gained weight just thinking about that. Prepare for the onslaught of "America is too fat" articles, followed by the "French wine is good for your heart" articles.

Can you imagine a burly beefeating redneck buying a 4-patty burger and drinking some Franzia?

Come to think of it, that might be the ultimate hangover challenge.

Sarah said...

I give you a week and a few of those funny american gin drinks and you will be down there queuing at BK (aka Hungry Jacks) asking for the quadruple with extra cheese washed down with a small (but bucket sized) Dr Peppers. You will then awake in the morning having dreamt you were the love child of Violet Beauregard and Augustus Gloop!!

PS Apparently you were snoring....

rob said...

if I did the math right, I think that's close to 4 shots of fat.

Jbro said...

God Save the Queen. It's these types of shinanigans that help me sleep better at night in a country OTHER then America.

Shaun in Singapore said...

Size Queen!

Wingman said...

AMERICA! F*CK YEAH!

Fraulein N said...

One thousand calories? God DAMN.