Today's Complaint

Because somebody once told me that I'm funnier when I'm complaining, here is my complaint for today.

Why the hell is Lake Michigan so cold??

Since it has been so hot, I thought it might be nice to go for a swim at North Avenue Beach after work to get some relief. So yesterday Richard met me at the office after work and we took the Brown Line to North Ave. and walked 6 blocks to the beach. I was hot and sweaty, and ready for the gentle, cool waters of Lake Michigan to do their magic. When we arrived, we noticed right away that while the beach was full for 7pm, there were hardly any people in the water. Not a good sign.

We had gone swimming the week before and the water was cold, but tolerable. I figured it would be at least as warm as last week, if not warner due to the blazing hot weather over the last 8 days.

No such luck. It seems the temperature actually dropped since then, making the water unbearably cold.* Neither of us could take submerging any lower than our knees. Since we'd come all this way I was determined to go all the way under, which I did and felt my heart stop. So traumatic that my frickin nose started bleeding as I walked out of the water.

We gathered our stuff and headed back to the train, both of us less refreshed and hotter than we were before we started, and not the least bit enthusiastic over spending the last hour walking around in the heat for a one-minute dip in the freezing lake. Turning to me Richard said, "Well, that wasn't such a good time, was it?" Umm, that would be a NO.

What good is it living in Chicago if you can't even go swimming in the Lake?? Fuck off, Lake Michigan. I hate you.

* And before you say something like, "Maybe it just seemed colder because the air temperature was warmer than last week" or some other bullshit, trust me: No, it was colder.