Here are some things you might wish to know about me and this weekend*:
- I’m off to Indiana to hang with the fam, relax by a lake, watch fireworks Indiana-style, potentially strangle my younger cousins, and possibly hang with Cooter.
- I’ll eat a large quantity of food, nearly all of it being not good for me, and rationalize it due to the fact that I’m in Indiana and it is a “holiday weekend.” (Note: this is really no different than any other day for me, be it non-holiday and not in Indiana.)
- I may be inspired to go for a run or two** (considering point #2 above and also because I won’t be going near a lap pool).
- I’ll be drinking a lot of alcohol, including the yummy Calimocho.
- Since two days in Indiana is quite long enough, thank you, I’ll head back to the city Monday for a barbecue or two, more drinking and more fireworks, Chicago-style.
- I’ll lay on the grass, looking up at the stars while listening to “ABBA: The Ultimate Tribute Band” as they perform “the story and sounds of one of the greatest rock bands of all times.” Seriously, I can't make this shit up.
Oh, and also, my father is going to the Nine Inch Nails concert this Saturday. Yes, that is correct – my father who is 60-something years old. Yes, that Nine Inch Nails. And no, he is not retarded.
Things I won’t be doing this weekend include: Working, Wearing pants or Listening to Wolfmother.
* I’m of course assuming, incorrectly of course, that you care to know.
** And by “run” I of course am including runs to the convenient store for more bloody mary mix and cheetos.