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10 Random Things Said to Me This Weekend
In place of my usual "What I learned this weekend" posts, I thought I'd shake it up a bit and share with you actual comments said to or asked of me this weekend.
In almost all cases they're perfectly normal, but taken out of context, some of them are just weird. Funny when you think about the strange conversations you can have over the course of a weekend. If anyone wants to share some of theirs from the weekend, feel free.
- “Where you going so fast, sugar pants?"
- “Did you change your name to ‘Will’ because of 'Will & Grace'?”
- "Can I reach behind you and plug this in?”
- “I don’t know why I listen to you. You always give me bad advice.”
- “You were not just giving me a funky eye, bitch!”
- “Sorry, I thought you were the water rat.”
- “Have I shook you down for $150 yet this month?”
- “I’m going to cut this off, or else you’ll have a mullet.”
- “You look like you’re fast. Maybe you should go ahead of me.”
- “Are you wearing Grandma’s jacket?”
12 comments:
1. "I am NOT going to give you anything aerosol in the car."
2. ". . . .something hoochie. That's always a safe bet."
3. "Even though it's $100 an ounce for nipple cream and it's not covered by insurance, when I run out I am still going to buy more."
4. "How did they let him join the band? He looks like a troll."
5. Best misheard line, "I told him to put his balls in a gelato pan."
1. "Just chuck it in and give it a good shake"
2. "My next one's going to be the most impractical and overpriced penis extension I can find"
3. "I'm going to go and knock up a girl scout"
4. "Are these your tousers or mine?"
Matt - you LIAR! The "knock up the girl scout" comment was YOURS! And I swear I said that same penis conversation to someone this weekend. Were you eavesdropping?
Classy: Nipple cream. Tell me more. And I agree that hoochie is absolutely always a safe bet.
What I want to see are your answers.
You don't even want to know about the nipple cream. All I have to say is mucho oucho. The sacrifices some make for their progeny.
Ah, busted. Ok, I admit that one was mine!
Is there ever a conversation with a group of guys that doesn't include a penis reference sometime during the evening?
My favorite is your #8, because out of context, it reads like a particularly effective threat.
Usually I have a problem remembering my weekends period let alone quotes from it.
Just remembered another one. "Those old guys are blocking the tvs and my mojo."
Listen, when I said "sugar pants" i was only joking!
#3 is the most MONEY line to use in a bar besides, "Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
What is a penis extension?
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