Wednesday, September 20, 2006


  1. Thank you Blogger for fixing the comments debacle between beta and non-beta users. I take back every bad thing I said about you in the last two weeks.
  2. I wish my MSN Spaces friends would just get Blogger accounts. It would just be easier.
  3. Every once in awhile, my site meter makes me laugh, particularly when I see how people get to my site. For example, I'm the #2 listing for "youtube barry manilow (bermuda triangle)" on Google.

Finally, and a bit more seriously, there is a person out there who I don't know at all (she's commented once on my site) but has me at the top of her blogroll (I think because it is in alphabetical order). I am flattered and grateful anytime anyone puts me on their roll.

But the other day I was reading her site and her entry that day was a tirade against her boss who she clearly doesn't like. Nothing wrong with that per se, but she called her boss a "faggot" twice. This is where it gets tricky, no?

I think most all of us use derogatory terms among our friends (I use the "f" word among my gay friends sometimes and lord knows I've called female friends "bitches" to their faces, so on and so forth) and sometimes you'll hear a comedian use a racist/sexist/homophobic term for a reaction (most often resulting in a humorous outcome).

The point being, neither me nor my friends have problems calling us these names because we know each other well enough to know our intentions by using such terms: the irony (and humor) of me calling a gay man a faggot is because I myself am a gay man; the irony of me calling a friend a racist term comes from the fact that I am not myself a racist. Etc., etc.

Maybe this person has a bunch of gay friends and uses the "f" word all the time in a manner not meant to offend her audience, and maybe I've become an eavesdropper among her circle of friends and don't know her well enough to assume the worst. I am no prude, or PC-ist, or overly-sensitive person so my first inclination is to let it slide.

But then there's this other side of me that wants to email her and write "Btw, I'm guessing you don't like homos based on your use of the word 'faggot' to describe a guy you don't like. As a 'faggot' myself, you may want to take me off your blogroll since you must not really like me all that much. Or better yet, please remove me from your list since I don't really want anything to do with you or your site."

Or maybe I'm just over-thinking everything per usual. Maybe the person in question, who I think reads me on a regular basis, could respond and let me know her thoughts.


PJS said...

Perhaps a simple comment on her blog after one of the potentially offending posts, like "dude, what's with the f-bombs?"

That makes no assumptions about her intentions, but graciously gives her the opportunity to explain them, if she so desires.

High road, and that sort of thing.

Sizzler Sister said...

Will: I was just about to call you the F word but then thought your blog friends who don't know me would think I was a bitch (or at least assume I was a bitch without knowing that in actuality I am. Nevermind.)

I agree with PJS. Since you don't really know this chick, send her an email and discuss and see what she says. It might give you a chance to educate her on some things. If she actually is a bit of a homophobe, this could be an opportunity to teach her that ya'll aren't so bad.

So are you a Barry Manilow expert?

classyandfancy said...

Where is this blogrolling beotch? Find out and I will cut her and not in a nice way. No one messes with my Cherry!

Matt said...

Really hope it was just a slip of the keyboard, but I guess some people don't consider the wider audience. I don't like going over the top with PC, but it's always worth having a quick check for anything that might offend before posting.

Classy; "No one messes with my Cherry". Trying to resist so much innuendo right now!

Ryan Charisma said...

I agree,

but what if: she's a fag hag and is absolutley comfortable with the word?

what if: her boss is one?

If she really didn't like gays, why would she put you on her list? It's not like your blog isn't obviouly from a gay man. I think you should let it go and see what comes of your latest entry, for if she reads it - she'll already know how you feel.

kisses from an uber-faggot!

classyandfancy said...

My apologies if I offended anyone, I was a wee bit tipsy when I wrote my comment. But, in all seriousness, no one messes with MY cherry or with my Cherry! Got it?

Cherry Ride said...

Classy: That's so sad that nobody messes with your cherry! Do we need to do an intervention??

DS said...

I just want to say that there is no intenton for me to be racist but i will say that i have no regret and that is what I am '

Mood Indigo said...

I'm not a fan of derogatory remarks - even when made in a friendly context. To me using them amongst friends downgrades how awful they are when used in other contexts. But of course - to each his own! Either way - looks like you've made your thoughts known and I think that's a good thing - we can all use a bit of a wake up call from time to time as to how our own comfort zones don't always accomodate others.

In other took me at least three visits to your site to figure out you were gay. My bad! review of the date with the "color-me-surprised" guy you warned against is up on my blog :)

word verification: fcnmdfkd - no joke