Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I Just Want to be Corbised, Is That So Wrong?

Part of my job sometimes involves sourcing photographs from places like Corbis. If you are not familiar with Corbis, it is a stock imagery house where you can search thousands upon thousands of photographs and illustrations for the purpose of buying the rights for various reasons - marketing or advertising materials, presentations, etc.

The times where I have to search Corbis are the happiest times of my job. You see, I love Corbis and can admit that I am obsessed and fascinated with it. There are other stock imagery services (Getty Images, Istock for example) but Corbis is by far the best. The images are slick, the locations are beautiful and shiny -- It's a beautiful shiny happy world, this Corbis world. To spend any amount of time searching for images on Corbis just makes you happy and brightens your day. It's like taking a cigarette break, or a short walk through a garden on a sunny day. It's a fantasy world. It's like Ikea.


[Example above of the typical "people" photo you find on Corbis.]

The models on Corbis are also slick and beautiful and shiny. Seriously, try for yourself: type in "beautiful people" in the search field and Corbis will spit back thousands of photos of beautiful people, often in shiny beautiful places - the beach, a green field, a gorgeous home. It's like a Mentos ad.


[This photo I found by typing in "beautiful." He certainly is. But the liquid spilling down his face and chest? Let's not go there.]

Even the ugly people featured on Corbis are really beautiful people wearing makeup to look ugly.

[
Above is a photo from my search of "ugly people." It's almost like ugly people are not allowed on Corbis!]

An added bonus of playing with Corbis is when a random, mislabeled photo makes it into your search results. Like this image below -- it showed up while I was searching for "business success."


[WTF??]

As I said, I'm a bit obsessed with Corbis. I wish I was a professional Corbis searcher -- I wish all I did 8 hours a day, 5 days a week was search Corbis for images for people. It would be joyous. (Ironically, several years ago before I discovered what a magical place Corbis is, I was asked to interview for a PR job with them. I declined the opportunity because I had just moved to Portland and didn't want to move again to Seattle. I wonder what would have happened had I gone for it. )

The other thing about Corbis is that I'd love to be a Corbis model. I'd love to be in one (or several) of those group photos, making an impossibly happy face like these people below just so my photo could be used in some corporate annual report or keynote address at some annual convention.


[I want to be in this photo. Not sure why; I just do.]

PS - I'm name dropping Corbis' name so much in this post because I'm hoping some bored Corbis executive decides one day to Google or MSN Search "Corbis" to see what comes up and this entry will pop up near the top of the results. So Corbis, if you happen to be reading this, put me in touch with one of your photographers and hire me as one of your shiny happy models. I want to be a part of your beautiful world.

10 comments:

PJS said...

blogger is stressing me out today... i've tried to comment on this like three times now!

PJS said...

Hmm, a Corbis search for "hot guy" turned up some pretty subjective results.

Cherry Ride said...

Stop ruining this for me, Parley.

.25 life crisis kid said...

I heart corbis! Finally, someone else can admit it!

PJS said...

OK, well, in my original, abortive attempt at a comment, I had some pretty nice things to say about mr. liquid covered beautiful guy pictured above.

Rich said...

You all have obviously FAR too much time on your hands! (and seriously, was that the hottest pic of a lad you could find??? Piss weak!)

classyandfancy said...

Do you think that Corbis needs some stock imagery of beautiful midgets? If so, I think we have that market cornered and your Corbis dreams will come to fruition at last!

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I've never heard of this Corbis before. I'm going to call you Corbis Bernsen from now on.

If I had any kind of pull in this town, Cherry would be a pretty, wet, Corbis model TOMORROW.

I'll keep my eyes and ears open for your opportunity, Corbis Bernsen.

kathyg said...

wet boy = chachi

Six Years Late said...

Ah Corbis, it's a British Art Director's nightmare.

The problem in one word: teeth.

In the days before internet searching, I remember sifting through literally thousands of Corbis and Getty stock trannys to use on the front cover of a UK hotel chain's bi-annual brochure. We spent dozens of hours rejecting teeth. You see as is well known the Brits just don't have good teeth and you can spot a US shot from a million miles off because of those bright white sparklers pinging out at you.

However much we pleaded they wouldn't let us spend the money on a shoot and so it went on.

'Nope too sparkly'

'Nope far too white'

'Nope too much work'

'Christ this one's still in braces and there's a hygenist in the background'

'For fuck's sake has no one in these pictures got brown teeth, get me some goddam brown and grey teeth'

A little poem by Mr Spike Milligan RIP that illustrates the problem:

English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.

English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Champing down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.

English Teeth, HEROES' Teeth!
Here them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.